Follow Up Doctor Update

Luckily my appt. was at 8:30a this morning so that I didn't have to wait too long for my update. I had also wished that there would be no pregnant women that I would run into today but that was not in the cards. 1 pregnant woman and one woman with 3 children. Oh well. It was a nice idea. I just basically talked myself into knowing that these women could have very well had fertility issues as well but I would never know it. It helped a little. But not very much.

I knew this was going to be a hard appt. and that chances are I would cry somewhere. I cried a little with the doctor but not horrendously that I couldn't get out my questions...and much more with the nurse because she started sharing her story of infertility and how she's been trying to get pregnant now after her last son for 9 years. She didn't really have any advice except to pray and that someday it will happen. I'm not sure I'm buying either but it was nice of her to share her story.

Anyways on to the update. Some of it was a little surprising, a little depressing and a little relieving. But all in all some good information.

I did tell her first off that I passed something and she noted it. I'm not sure if she still considers it a chemical pregnancy since she didn't mention it. She did say I should wait 2 months (again) to get pregnant again. I questioned this since I thought it was a chemical pregnancy and there was possibly less damage to the lining. But she said she still recommended that I wait 2 months so that my body doesn't "reject" the next pregnancy. Which means if I get pregnant in 2 months I will have about the same due date as my first pregnancy. Wow. I feel like I've been here before. Damn it. So she went ahead and examined me...but no ultra sound. I'm sure there is nothing in there anyways. And anything else that would be seen could be looked at later. They took blood to test my levels and I will be returning in two weeks for more blood and to get my annual pap smear.

Anyways my biggest hope and at the same time fear was that she would recommend me to start seeing an RE. I know that sounds weird but I think either way I would have been upset with this because a) if she does recommend it I can't go on thinking that I'm like all the other "normal" women that can do this on her own. b) but at the same time if she went on like I thought she would not counting this as a real miscarriage and saying we can still continue on the same path with her I would wonder if she was really taking my situation seriously.

But in fact she did immediately say after looking at my chart that she would recommend I see an RE if in fact it is financially feasible for us. I was quite surprised at this...don't really know why. She suggested one that is located in between both my husband and my work (which is a whole other story) she said something about him being very very good and that he just was written up in the paper about successfully implanting one of the world's oldest frozen embryo. Which we both laughed at. :) I'm wondering if by chance she actually used him for her pregnancies because I know she had her children after the age of 40. Hmmm, she told me to tell him Hi if I do end up seeing him. I guess with someone who can implant successfully the world's oldest frozen embryo there's got to be some chance he can help me with latching on to a current embryo.

Anyways we talked about other options if I were to stay with her...she said she could do some extra testing, possibly use clomid which may or may not strip my lining. etc.... although my husband and I already discussed that we would feel most comfortable (or at least he would - I'm not sure I know what I want anymore) with going to see a specialist no matter what the cost. And I got the feeling that my doctor was pretty much suggesting the same. I need to note for other bloggers who may be reading this that her primary concern was my age. So no need to run to a fertility specialist just because you've had one or two miscarriages. It's really an individual case basis I think. She said that if I were in my 20's it would be different story and that I would have time to wait. But she said that after the age of 38 it gets really hard (which is actually 2 years older than I am) and time is of the essence. And with me obviously not getting pregnant on the first try anymore...time is money. Hmmm well I think everything is money now.

I also asked her about some of my other things I was going to try and was quite surprised by her comments. I will also ask the RE though for a second opinion because my ob tends to be a little more cautious in some areas and less cautious in usual areas. For example she told me with my first pregnancy it was okay to eat sushi (meaning raw fish sushi) but to not eat fish more than once a week to cut down on the mercury. I have yet to hear a obgyn say this but due to my sushi compulsion I was thrilled. Although with caffeine she said to absolutely have none. Not even a cup here and there. Which is quite the opposite of what your read out there these days. So I'm curious to see what the RE says about the following questions I asked my OB.

1) Aspirin...will it help for me to take baby aspirin. She said absolutely not and I should not take it. WHAT???? She said that this is prescribed on a case by case basis and that I should be very careful since it could cause many problems and told me about a woman she just saw having problems with additional bleeding because of aspirin. Okay so now I'm completely confused by what I should do ... so I guess I'll hold off on that until I see the RE. I thought it was the wonder drug.

2) Acupuncture...what do you think of it? Her answer...Waste of time. REALLY???? Again so different than what I would expect...I mean I think acupuncture helps a lot of people and really believe in it. If she were an older doctor I wouldn't be so surprised. But she's young(ish) and and of Asian decent to boot...which of course doesn't always matter. But I was quite surprised that she didn't think much of it...Her opinion: it's a waste of time...especially in my condition. She said I can't afford to wait for things like that. Interesting. So much for having something to take my mind off things. And bummer since my insurance covers acupuncture. Is there anything she believes in that my insurance DOES cover?

And I should note that as I got more feedback I felt more and more like this is a race to the finish line. I know I'm no spring chicken but hello I'm not completely old yet! In my mind I felt impatient because I feel like I've been going through this forever. First waiting to get pregnant...then getting pregnant...then waiting to miscarry...then waiting to heal from miscarrying and then starting all over! But when there's someone else getting impatient...and someone that is your doctor...you know it's not all in your mind. You seriously need to haul ass on this. I guess this was the depressing part.

3) ANA level: Not sure if everyone is up to date on this, I think I've mentioned it before but I don't dwell on it too much. Basically to make a long story short, I have a slightly elevated ANA level for a couple of years now. This could mean many things but for my particular case it's not Lupus or anything else it's just slightly elevated. Apparently tons of people have it slightly elevated and live normal lives all the time it just that it happened to be caught on a test that was given to me during a routine physical and it was flagged. (Most people don't even get tested for this and so they don't ever know this is slightly high) So I see a rheumatologist every 6 months to make sure nothing is changing. And nothing has. When I had my first pregnancy my rhematologist ran many tests to make sure nothing would interfere and all came back good. So I have to suspect this is not causing a problem...but I always like to throw it out there. Again she said she didn't believe it had any connection.

So those were pretty much my top 3 and she answered the rest with the referral of the RE. Now I'm just waiting for my husband to call for an update so that we can discuss which RE to go to...the one he got a recommendation for (have no idea where he is located) or the one that can transplant a thousand year old embryo. Hmmm. I'm voting for the old egg guy...I think.

Now if I can just stop worrying about how much all this mess is going to cost us. I know it's our child and if we really want it, it's what must be done but in my mind I see us going through thousands and thousands of dollars with no end in sight. I'm very much a planner and am most comfortable when there are no unknowns. And this is pretty much a big unknown right now. I know everyone's case is different but does anyone have a guesstimates on how much let's say a full blown IVF treatment is? I mean I don't know if that's the route I'll be taking but let's just say? As well as testing etc. Any info as always is much appreciated.

Well I'm off to clean my house from top to bottom...It's what gets my mind off of things and since I have the day off today (cough cough...from being sick) it will help me get through my thoughts. Boy do I have a lot of them going on in my head.