Busy Busy Busy...6 months

I'm sad to see that I'm barely keeping up with my once a month blogging but the days just seem to be slipping away. The nuggets are already 6 months old! I can't even believe where the time has gone. Girl nugget can already roll both ways and boy nugget is up to rolling one way. They are both growing so big and are just the best things ever! Even mr. sushinut who has been in constant "get it done" Dad mode has been commenting on how much he misses them when he's at work and how adorable they are.

So what have I been up to? Well both everything and nothing I suppose. I have been back at work for about a month now. Which is challenging but nice all at once. Daycare seemed to be a smooth transition because I started transitioning them during the end of my leave which was a wise idea for me I think. On top of taking care of the twin nuggets we've been vivaciously searching for a house, which we desperately need now that the nuggets are on the move. Our townhouse (even though fairly big) is just not big enough for us anymore and we are eagerly looking to move to a place with a backyard. So needless to say with nugget management, house hunting and work, my time blogging has suffered. On the brighter side the nuggets are finally practically sleeping through the night with only a night time feeding a couple times a week. That's right!...there are some nights where we don't have to get up at all and they sleep all the way through. I thought I'd never get here.

Well I need to bolt for now but will try to post again soon. Wish us luck...we are waiting to hear back on a house we bid on last week!

Bye for now...

Happy Anniversary to us!

Four years ago this morning, my husband and I married at the top of a breath taking bluff overlooking the ocean in Maui, Hawaii. The day was clear and sunny with just a few clouds in the sky with the warm Hawaii breezes just slightly blowing.

I remember wondering, as I listened to the pastor ask us to repeat our vows, what our challenges and joys would be in the years to come. Infertility would certainly not have been at the top of my list. But I can easily say it has been one of the greatest bumps in the road that mr. sushinut and I have weathered together in our marriage.

Although this year there will most likely not be a romantic dinner for two nor a weekend away, I am forever grateful for the reason why not. This year we celebrate as a family...us plus two more little ones that have been in the plans a long time coming.

It's better than any romantic getaway ever! Happy Anniversary Mr. Sushinut! Thank you for being the best husband and dad ever! Here's to many more years!

The Summer of Nuggets

Tomorrow starts the last week of my maternity leave before I go back to work. I am so completely sad. I really didn't think I would ever say that but I am. If you would have asked me if I would feel this way a few months ago I would have told you I was crazy. I would have given anything to be able to get out into the real world and done anything non-baby. Not that I didn't love my babies it was just a bit much being with them 24/7. But now that they've grown and are becoming so much more verbal and active and less reliant on me on a minute to minute basis I miss them. I know I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom...nor can I afford to be one. But looking back at these four months brings a lot of wonderful memories. Memories that I'm positive I will never forget. I knew this going in...I would tell myself...this is the only time I'm ever going to be able to spend at home with them when they are this little. And I truly tried to relish it but it doesn't make this next week any easier.

They are still transitioning into daycare and have done so wonderfully. Because I've done it slowly all month long they love their daycare. Quite honestly I think they are bored when I keep them at home. So I've been sending them for 4 days a week these last 2 weeks so that they can have fun and that I can get things done. But I miss them so much. On the one day they stay home we do fun things like go to the neighborhood gardens or if it's too hot go to visit an indoor mall. They love getting out and seeing all the people and getting attention. And at the gardens they love just spreading out on the grass (see picture above).

To be honest I don't even know if I would be cut out to be a stay at home mom. I've found that because I am going back to work I've found myself in a sort of strange type of place with other moms. Other moms that work are basically back at work...and stay at home moms have already started forming their own play groups. But most that I know especially in my twins club tend to forget about me because I'm going back to work soon and so maybe they feel it's a waste of time to get to know me. I've tried to invite them to outings that I take the nuggets to but they often have their own plans and invite me but in all honestly it sounds not as quite as exciting as what I had planned so I go my own way. And the nuggets and I have a nice day to ourselves.

On another note in regards to friends I've had a weird sort of experience with all of my old non-parent friends. Most assumed I would never be heard from again after my twins were born but I've made a conscience effort to reach out to them over and over to do things and they either aren't available or don't get back to me. And it's not like I'm one of those moms who's constantly talking about their kids. I make it a point to basically only ask them questions about what is going on in their lives. It's just so irritating. I guess maybe everyone has their own reason. So my non parent friends are not available...doing their own thing, the new mom friends have joined their own groups and I'm left sort of in this twilight zone between being at home with my nuggets and waiting to get back to work. It's quite a weird place to be I tell you. So I'm thinking going back to work may not be such a bad idea.

My to do list is a mile long this coming week. I have no idea how I'll get through it. And to top it all off I'm so incredibly torn with sending the nuggets to day care to get it done or to keep them home more this week to spend time with them. It's just a really hard transition for me...as I'm assuming it is for all moms. Sigh. So for now I'm trying to dearly hang on to all those wonderful new baby memories. The weeks just after they got home from the hospital when everything was new for them and for us. As well as look forward to all that will be coming up with them. I know there will be big changes for us all next year and am so looking forward to them but for now I am fondly remembering these first quiet summer days of just me and the nuggets.

Operation Hair

So since my last post I've been doing some intense post pregnancy hair loss research (after all I no longer have infertility to research so I've got to have something to obsess about) and as with infertility I'm sure I've over done things.

I've heard that there may or may not be some vitamins that can help with lacking nutrients in one's diet that could cause increased hair loss. And so like everything infertility-wise I've gone compulsive as well.

This weekend in addition to my usual prenatals, which I'm still taking I've added some biotin (supposedly makes the hair grow) along with some MSM (never heard of this before but apparently when paired with Biotin it's some super growing solution, along with some Vitamin E (for a shiny "coat"), along with some extra iron (supposedly a lack of iron in the diet of some women post pregnancy can really make shedding extreme - and lord knows I've lost my share of blood with the forever on going bleeding for months), and last but not least tossed in some Vitamin C to boot (which supposedly increases growth as well). I held off on the protein and milk thistle (which is supposed to work in conjunction with the protein) but who knows...next week I may be adding that as well.

Too much do you think?

Ummm yeah I figured so...but I'm giving it all I got. I figure either this intense shedding will stop or I'll have the healthiest, glossiest hair (and yes I do mean just one hair) on my head that anyone's ever seen. I'm sure the wig store will be in awe when they see it.

I found all suggestions (and sympathetic messages) a great deal of help. Thank you. And I'll probably go for that super great cut some day. But right now I'm so in fear that if I go to any salon they'll just butcher my hair by combing it and having it all fall out. Right now I comb it ever so gently in hopes that I don't lose as much (which of course does not make for a neat style. For not only is my hair falling out but it's also turned insanely curly and frizzy. I have hair that's a cross between a rat's nest and an Afro ... lovely. I love when I'm pushing along my double stroller with the nuggets because at least people (well most) will think ... oh yes she was just pregnant so she's losing all her hair because of that...but when I'm without them I just look like some woman going bald. I wish I could take them everywhere!

The other plan of attack is to call my ob and beg for some estrogen. Not sure how that exactly works but I've heard that in some cases when the body is trying to correct it's self a hormone deficiency happens and that is why some women lose more hair than others. I read about one woman who had an ob that prescribed estrogen to correct this. So we'll see what my ob says. Hopefully she won't shoot me down.

As I mentioned to A at Infertility Bites I feel like such a heel talking about this trivial matter when there's so many other women out there dealing with much more important matters but I guess that's what a blog is for to post about what ever you're dealing with at the moment.

At least I'm getting a tad more sleep. The nuggets are sleeping between 4-5 hours a shift a night! That's like pure bliss I tell you. I am completely grateful. Now if I can please have my hair back damn it... and I swear I won't complain about a single thing...well not until teething starts at least.

Bad Hair Day

(Fair warning - this post is rather shallow)

So with all this baby talk I've really not touched on how I'M doing following this successful pregnancy. I'm so happy that thankfully (knock on wood) all is fine with my nuggets and they are growing and thriving. As for me I've been blessed with the ability to easily go down about 15 pounds less than my pre-pregnancy weight. Of course what you call "pre pregnancy weight" is questionable. Was that this pregnancy? Or the last 4? Friends and people that know me have noticed. "Wow, you've really lost a lot of weight. Seriously... a lot" they say. All I say is yes thanks. I mean I'm still no skinny minnie to say the least since I'm still over weight. But it was nice to lose all that so quickly. I couldn't believe my own eyes when they weighed me at my first post op appt. But low and behold I had lost 30 pounds already. Whoo hoo! Also all my swelling has gone down and my foot issues have all disappeared thankfully. But now a new issue. I knew this could happen but I guess it's so surprising how quickly it started and is increasing. I'm losing my hair...I mean A LOT of hair. I know it's all just extra hair that grew and didn't fall blah blah blah blah. But seriously...with my borderline lupus issue I already had thin hair to begin with. If this continues I just may be bald. I mean I've heard of wash and go hair styles but this is ridiculous! My hair is rather long but I really can't cut it short like some women because of this really retarded bell shape my hair falls into. I had the "Dorthy H@mel" cut for years as a kid and trust me it did nothing for me. I'm continuing my prenatal vitamins and even including extra iron since I had been bleeding for such a long time (more on that fabulous topic some other time). But still to no avail every morning I lose more and more.

So my question to all of you moms who have gone through this is how long does this process take? And when will it stop???? I know there are bigger things to worry about and hate to seem shallow but seriously it's so depressing. I go back to work in 3 weeks and am afraid to even get my hair colored in fear that the chemicals will just make the remaining hair fall out! Eeek! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

100 Days

All through pregnancy I was told by my twins club as well as the nurses in my baby classes to count 100 days from the day of birth and mark a big fat "X" on our calendar. Starting from this date of 100 days the whole baby experience was supposed to get a lot easier. So one day I counted and wouldn't you know it our 100 days landed on 4th of July! A celebration of Independence from my needy new nuggets and the country?! How coincidental!

Well this last weekend on the 4th we celebrated 100 days of the nuggets with close friends and family. It was truly a great time. I'm not going to lie, everyone thought I was nuts for wanting to host a park bbq picnic with twins in tow. Including my husband. But luckily for me he knows better to argue :)

Overall I was exhausted at the end but am so happy I did this. We even went around to everyone with a video camera and asked them to offer life advice to the nugs past 100 days. The advice ranged from sage advice of grandma "to always love each other and never fight" to comical advice from grandpa of "If you love a girl 'boy nugget" the way to her heart is a good restaurant."

So has these post 100 days been any easier? Well, mr. sushinut and I definitely feel it is much easier than the first 30 days but I'm not sure if we've hit full on "walk in the park" status quite yet, let's say.

Everyday I see them I am awed by their existence despite the taxing effort of them both I can't believe how lucky I am to have them here with me. The month of July also marks an important anniversary for me, being the first successful month of pregnancy. It was just a year ago around this time that I successfully became pregnant with the little nuggets and I will always look back fondly on this time. Of course at that time my mind was racing with doubt and anxiety but I had come a long way and as we all do, I hung on to hope. And this time hope came through.

And so how are the nuggets doing now? Well both are smiling up a storm which completely melts our hearts. Especially in the morning they are so incredibly happy. We call it "morning smiles" and if you get up to late you just might miss them! They are both starting to "talk" more. And Girl Nugget has officially found her grasp on things. They are both eager to sit up, "pretend walk" and "pretend stand" with our assistance. I did finally get them into our day care of choice and am so happy I have them there despite the expense. We have been transitioning them about 3 days a week for a few hours a day and they are doing wonderfully. Not to mention I'm enjoying the time catching up on my errands...and hope to one day soon use this time to catch up on sleep!

They STILL do not sleep through the night and get up at least for two feedings. But I have high hopes that this will soon diminish. Or at least I hope it will once I start work in August. But for now I'm just enjoying these early days of smiles and giggles from them and trying to take in every little baby breath. I am truly a lucky individual.

10 Weeks Already!?

(Umm did I not post this? Just found it in my Edit Posts pile...oops!)

Holy moly, has it really been 10 weeks since I had my little nuggets. Can't believe it. Well what can I update?

About the reflux and gas I think we are slowly getting there. The reflux was greatly reduced by starting them on the Enfamil AR formula at night time feedings. Still dealing with a lot of gas issues during the day when I put them on the Gentle Ease but I've now been bold enough to go back to the Neutramagin. They don't seem to hate the taste like they used to a few weeks back. After speaking to a friend of mine who had a preemie and said that formula saved her life, I've decided to go back to it for a week. Mr. Sushinut is not so happy since that's the most expensive formula. He tends to be in denial of their gas issues and thinks it's just babies being babies. I refuse and plot night and day how I can combat the gas fussiness.

As for the sleeping. Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I really think it's like a recipe...a little of this and a little of that. First off I am attempting to do more cluster feeding that is when I'm home for the shift right before bed. Although they are still getting up between 2.5 - 4 hours at a time. Four hours is great...but it doesn't seem to be a consistent number. AND!...You'll never guess what sushi nugget girl did just a week ago? Slept 8 hours straight! I couldn't believe it and checked on her every 3 hours just to make sure she was okay, since sushi boy nugget was still getting up for his feeding that often anyhow. On occasion I've gone ahead and tried to just insert his pacifier again in hopes he fall back to sleep but so far it only buys me but a 1/2 hour more. I've also tried to wake the other from their sleep to feed at the same time but usually they are in such a deep sleep that they just lay there like a limp banana peel. So I guess I can cross those two attempts off my list. But with the AR formula it's at least pure bliss in putting them back down. They wake up crying for their feeding...feed...and then after a quick burp or back in their bassinets to sleep. Now only if they would get up at the same time. Sigh.

As for me getting more sleep I have looked into what everyone suggested and hired myself (or plan to a small army). 1) Nanny: I've hired this great young nanny who sits for many of the families in my twins club and comes highly recommended. Although a little pricey she's well worth it. Also she's completely booked during the day so I could only get her on Thursday nights and Saturdays. Also my MIL will be available soon because she is off from teaching for the summer. Again this is questionable how much help she is but I've found that she could be helpful in helping me take the nuggets to doctor appts. as we are doing tomorrow. That and another college mother's helper who I plan to hire as soon as she gets back from college, who happens to be a niece of another mom from my twins club and has also multiples experience helping her aunt and her twins. I've already booked her for a few hours every Wednesday. Then there is day care. I never really considered starting them in day care early but due to some openings I just might. Believe it or not I still haven't locked in a day care for them and I want them to start at the end of July, since I go back to work at the beginning of August. Eeek!

The problem being that I'm holding out for this amazing daycare that I went to visit not too long ago. This was the only one I found that I loved EVERYTHING about. Only issue...they have a waiting list. Well looks like they might have some openings at the end of June/beginning of July but that's sooner than I wanted to send them. But then I started thinking...what if I just send them a couple of days a week for just a few hours to get them warmed up to the idea? And so that I maybe can get some sleep in? So I'm still waiting to hear back if I'll get the two spaces or not...every day I call and every day the director tells me to call back. I can't take the suspense!

Happy Mother's Day!...and 6 Weeks Nuggets!

First off Happy Mother's Day to all those new infertiles who happen to be celebrating their very first Mother's Day like me. Is it as weird for you as it is for me? I still feel like this is a bizarre dream. And of course to all others out there in our blog land whether you are a first time mom or second time etc. or still trying and will be one some day! It was just a year ago this month that I was mourning yet my 3rd miscarriage and I can't believe this day has finally come.

So today I had the very best gift ever. Mr. Sushinut gave me 9 blissful hours of sleep from 1a to 10a! Pure heaven! Then we packed up the nuggets and went to a great lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant with the family. I received many bouquets of flowers. Great cute cards (one of which included 1 free night of babysitting from my brother and sister in law - whooohoo!) and an awesome blender/food processor from the nuggets in exceptionally beautiful department store gift wrap (I assume that was the girl nuggets doing since I expect her to be a shopper like me). Oh and I forgot too, finally a wonderful back massage from mr. sushinut while I lay on my stomach (it's been forever since I could do that due to the pregnancy).

Thank you so much for your great advice for my sleepless nights (and days). My favorite comment of all was from "She" who talked about sending her son to college in a great big car seat. That cracked me up! I have been using the car seats and it does help, especially with girl nugget since she has the reflux a little worse than her brother. I just feel so bad that they sleep in their car seats instead of their cozy little bassinets sometimes but as mr. sushinut points out it's for a purpose...not like I'm too lazy and just keep them in their seats after a day of shopping or something.

Ironically after I posted, they started sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time at night. I think it was due to 2 reasons. One being that on that day they seemed especially hungry during the day (at one point it seemed like they were eating almost every hour!) So I was like "okay, you nuggets are on!" "I can feed you into you pop if you'd like". And so I did. I think they were so full by night time they didn't need to eat as much. Also I started using that Enfamil AR formula at night. It did help the reflux and it seemed to keep them satisfied for longer. Although mr. sushinut thinks it's just a coincidence. So I didn't pick up any more and tonight I'm going with just the regular gentle ease formula and low and behold they only are sleeping for 2.5 hours a stretch again. I don't care what mr. sushinut says...I'm hauling butt to Target and buying more of that AR formula again. I know it probably isn't as good for the gas issues but it works for the reflux and I think using it only at night will solve any issues with constipation (since I was warned that this could happen) which might occur by using it all the time.

If you're wondering what happened to good ol' breast feeding, like some new twins moms I've basically thrown in the towel too. It saddens me that I couldn't breast feed them exclusively but there's only so much time in the day. And with my mother in law not being the support we originally anticipated it just made it too difficult. Right now I am pumping about 2x per day (and get very little from each pumping) and sometimes will breast feed boy nugget in addition to his formula. Girl nugget is clueless on how to breast feed nor has the patience.

I haven't asked the dr. yet for any medication for them because I wouldn't say it's terrible terrible like I've heard other babies have it and so I don't want to be quick to jump to the meds just yet. But if it continues to be a problem or gets worse I will need to.

I have inclined their bassinet mattresses a bit and by doing so girl nugget tends to roll to the side and either ram her face into the side of the batting, causing me to freak out about sids or to scare the crap out of her and have her suddenly wail. I think I've rectified this by rolling two blankets by each side of her to lock her in. Hopefully this will work.

As for the night nurse, boy would we absolutely love that. Unfortunately they are way too expensive not to mention it sort of freaks me out to have someone in our house at night while we sleep and watching them. I know...if I were really tired I wouldn't care right? I'm just afraid I'd be to worried that I wouldn't sleep anyways.

But I am checking into a nanny that is looking for some evening and weekend hours. She was referred to me by someone in my twins club. So hopefully that will work out and I can have some hours to myself here and there.

I have some great mother's day photos and new photos of the Nugs but my shift to 4a is now over and the hell if I'm going to take precious sleep time to find my camera and upload those puppies. So you'll have to tune in again to see the pics. :) Stay tuned!

Week 5 ... Are We There Yet? (insert whine here)

...or you could insert "wine" too. I definitely need a drink.

I think it's week 5...could be week 6 but I think that's just wishful thinking.

Here's where I am now. Mr. Sushinut has returned to work at least 4 days a week. Three weekdays and Saturdays. When he does work I do all the night feedings because he is a doctor and does surgeries and such that could cause great pain or malpractice suits if he messes up on someone. And therefore I insist that I take one for the team and stay up for all night feedings.

I AM SO FRIGGEN TIRED.

Please, please, please God...make these kids sleep for more than 2.5 hours straight soon! I can't take this much longer. I was going to ask my pediatrician if there was anything I could do to umm...speed up this process but was to chicken, less I be reprimanded for selfishly wanting to sleep in exchange for my children's healthy growth. Okay okay I get it...at this age they need food...like every friggen five minutes. But couldn't God have made it so they could at least hold their own bottle by now? I know they are only 5 weeks old (and 3 weeks early to boot) but it feels like it's been FOREVER since I gave birth. I feel like I should be taking them to the DMV for their Driver's License already for Christ's sake. Not to mention my greatest fear has come true. It seems that both nuggets have been blessed with major gas issues and reflux. Shoot me now.

We've tried 3 different formulas and are now just using the one that causes the least amount of grief...yet still grief. I did slyly ask the doc about putting rice cereal in their formula at night (you know to get them to sleep longer - blaming it on my mother and mother in law that insists is what you are supposed to do to get them to sleep longer...and what happened? Totally shot down. I didn't even believe her so I went to dr. google and he said the same thing...NOT BEFORE 4 MONTHS. Crap, crap, crap. So I'm on to that formula Enfamil AR business now. Wish me luck. Mr. sushinut has suggested we go for the ol' shot of Bourbon if something doesn't give soon. Feel free to offer magical life saving advice.

Happy Due Date Day Nuggets!

This should be actually back dated to this last Saturday but who has the time with twins? I was thinking of them on that day and told them happy due date day :) So at least that's something :)

Dear Nuggets,
April 18th was your official due date and although we evicted you 3 weeks early you seem to be doing just fine. At 3 weeks old you already look so big to me and far from your little selves that I remember in the hospital during "Baby Bootcamp". How fast you are growing up already! I relish the late night shifts I have with you so that I can stare into your eyes and kiss your foreheads and sing you what limited lullaby songs I know (so far). You are just what I expected and more..and I love you more and more every minute that goes by.

Hugs and kisses,
Mommy

And then there were 4...

Seriously...I swear I've started and added to this post for a week now... Will there ever be time again?

Ah a few quite moments to update my lonely blog...let's see if I can actually have time to get through a post.

So, what's it like now with the nuggets and being a family of 4...you might wonder? Well it's hard. It's amazing. It often brings me to tears (good tears that is) when I remember back to all that I've gone through to get to this point. And believe me I've been thinking more and more of my journey here, especially during these late night hours. I've always told myself that even in the latest of late hours, staying up and rocking a nugget to sleep in hopes to get a few moments of sleep myself I would never forget the road here. And I can honestly say I've kept my promise. I am forever grateful that things worked out and I have these wonderful little beings. I still can't believe they're actually here when I stare at their little faces, hands and feet.

But let's move past that sappiness for a second shall we? So...some might be wondering...what's it really like with two nuggets and an instant family of 4? Well I think I've been just trying to take it day by day, week by week. So I'll give a little update right now. (The birth story is in the works - hopefully I can post it before they go to college).

Week 1: The delivery
More detail on this later. But basically mr. sushinut and I affectionately refer to this time as baby boot camp. Being in a small private hospital room with 2 newborns and a husband plus the constant medical and visitor interruption seriously tested our patience. But nevertheless we survived and flourished. The little nuggets unfortunately were tested positive with Jaundice so at about day 2 we had to toss breast feeding out the window at least for the time being in order to flush out their systems as quickly as possible, meaning bring in the formula. I think I'm still paying for that since I have very limited milk supply but the important thing here is that we did get the jaundice down and they went home nice and healthy. The first couple of days were super painful as I tried to recover from my ginormous uterus trying to push itself back into it's pie-hole original location plus dealing with pain from the incision area but I trudged through and with the help of meds (never say no to the meds) was able to help out a little more by day 3 at the hospital. Poor mr. sushinut did an amazing job taking care of both nuggets on his own with limited help from the nurses those first few days...and continues to prove to be super dad :) Finally when we were released on day 4 from the hospital, me feeling better with my recovery and the nuggets on their way to being jaundice free, we were never happier to head to home sweet home.

Week 2: The nuggets snuggle into their new home.
This week wasn't quite as bad as "baby bootcamp" but mr. sushinut and I were still getting through the kinks. Luckily my mother in law decided to stay with us this week. Unfortunately she turned out to have not as much stamina as she promised to. Or should I say hoped to. She slept through each night feeding and basically tends to be there to just hold babies rather than helping out throughout the house. Not to mention she doesn't seem to do dishes, pick up after herself or know the use of a coaster. Seriously I'm not that much of a control neat freak but seriously? Help people...do not hinder? Not that I'm really complaining. Any help is better than none. But I find it ironic how people tend to promise the world and not be realistic as to what they are capable of doing. Never-the-less mr. sushinut and I fall into a pattern of me taking the 10p - 4a shift and him taking the 4a - 10a shift. Six hours of sleep? Not too shabby for new born twins! At the same time though I am dealing with the negative post trauma of pregnancy on my body. Still re-cooperating from the surgery the pain is not so bad anymore, but I've some how managed to gain a ginormous amount of bloat in my ankles and feet (which even during pregnancy I didn't have) causing a severe case of franken foot. Not to mention during this second week I some how managed to pick up some eye infection at the hospital causing me to only wear my glasses and have a big red crusty eye to boot. Not the most elegant state I've been in I must admit.

Week 3:

Week 3 is much better with me some how conquering the old "how to feed to screaming hungry babies at one time - guess that plan of getting them on the same schedule was ideal in hind sight except when they actually are on the same schedule and you're all alone and they both want to eat NOW". And even figure out how to burp both at the same time. Let's just say it's a complex combination of strategically placing babies and car seats. Need I say more. More time with the in-laws ensues and thus the challenge of me working on my patience with too many people hanging around my house, snacking, visiting and working the babies into a frenzy. Did I mention these people aren't big on coasters? And why do they look at me like I'm a nut case when I ask them to remove their hot cup of tea from my beautiful mahogany coffee table? Yes, I know the kids will ruin it eventually ... but please at least give THEM a chance! Still very limited on the breast milk but not giving up quite yet. Even breaking out the special breast milk tea that the lactation consultants suggested. Now if I only had time to have a cup of tea myself!

Stay tuned...

I'm Alive! Welcome Sushi Nuggets!

So whenever I've ever thought about what song I would be using in my player when posting my pictures of the sushi nuggets final arrival, I would have NEVER thought it would be a Xanadu song...but when I finally got out of the hospital on Tuesday and was standing in the sun on a warm spring day waiting for mr. Sushi nugget to load all the gear plus them in our car...it just seemed like a natural fit as to what was playing in my mind. If you happen to read blogs with your sound on, enjoy this flashback to the eighties? or was in seventies? Anyhow! ....



So without further delay...here they are!

I seriously can't believe they are here and I'm their mom. Seriously, what kind of craziness is that. The whole time checking into Labor and Delivery and prepping for the c-section I kept thinking to myself...this has got to be better than the D&C experience and it certainly was.

I'll put up a whole post on details later but I just wanted to thank you for all your well wishes. It was probably the most surreal experience I've ever had in the OR. I still keep thinking about it.

On the flip side both nuggets have already grown into their own separate nicknames. So may I present to you:

Sushi nugget girl otherwise known now as "Delicate Flower":

And the Garden Gnome, or the travelocity Gnome as Mr. Sushi nugget calls him:





I have so much to update but will have to do it when I have more time (yeah right!). Just got out of the hospital on Tuesday due to my recovery being a bit slow and because they have/had jaundice. Thankfully those levels have been going down since going home. And since Tuesday as you can imagine it's been just a blur.

Sushi Girl nugget was about 6.5 pounds and sushi boy nugget was almost 7 pounds! Both were 18.5 inches. Everyone including all the doctors were raving about how big they were for twins at 37 weeks. Now I know why I've been so uncomfortable! That's a heavy load there!

Overall the experience was just the most surreal wonderful experience I've ever had. It was so weird to go into the operating room with no babies and then minutes later hear the squeaking sounds of little baby cries. I mean I obviously know they were in there but seriously it just didn't seem real when they came out. I still look at them and feel like this is just a fun week of taking care of someone's kids. It's so strange to know that they are mine forever! I thought I'd never have this chance.


More to come soon!

Twas the Night Before... 37 Weeks

I could go through and try to some feeble attempt at my own "Night Before" poem but seriously, patience is limited tonight.

So this is it...tomorrow morning I need to be at the hospital at 5am. I would normally groan at that except I've been getting less and less sleep anyhow with how uncomfortable I am. They have have formed some sort of schedule (which I'm sure will continue when they are out of the womb) to be up bumping around in me from 2a-4a. Fabulous.

Tonight I had my last supper, which was coconut shrimp at out.back.steak.house. I just love the coconut shrimp there. And I was in full shlub mode. I had my grey sweats on that still had the dried doppler goop on it from this morning's non-stress test along with no bra and a sweater, plus my hair up in a pony tail in a baseball hat. All I was missing was the spit up. Apparently I'm adapting well to new motherhood already.

Today was sort of strange...actually the last few days have been strange. I go between just being in awe of what is going to become of my life and just doing basic things...like this afternoon I planted flowers. Seriously...how hysterical is that.

Well I better finish this up because someone is majorly kicking my bladder YET AGAIN. As they say at 2a when bars are closing up, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here nuggets." Tomorrow is eviction day. And I can't wait :)

See you all on the other side!

Week 36 - This is definitely not my most attractive moment

Okay so first off everyone is doing fine. At my last non-stress test Girl Sushi nugget wasn't moving that much but her heart beat was fine and the doctor said it was perfectly fine. Well somehow she must be making up for things because she seriously is rocking and rolling today. I've noticed myself that my stomach has dropped well beyond obvious proportions. Does this mean I will be going in sooner?

I am so friggen uncomfortable that I'm wondering how I can go for another week. I'm pretty much trapped at home because I can't walk that much (although my foot has gotten better) and I can't stand for very long. My cleaning lady came today and cleaned the whole house (which makes me feel much better) and I just sat there. That was pretty much the extent of my activity for the day except talking to my mother in law on the phone and going out (because I couldn't handle it anymore) to pick up some dinner. Mr. Sushinut had to work today...which wasn't so bad because I've gotten to that point where EVERYTHING agitates me. Which brings me to the next complaint...

If I hear one more crack comment from any stranger or even worse my mother about random weird pregnancy things I'm going to sock someone. Seriously.

My mother called me yesterday to let me know that I'm going to have a spinal (epidural?) for the c-section. My response... "well I friggen hope I have SOMETHING". She thinks because she had a c-section 37 years ago she is all knowing. Then she went on to tell me some crack story how the nurse kneed her in the stomach really hard so that she would bend over more when she got it and to tell my doctor that I didn't want that done. I was like what in GOD are you talking about woman!

The day before she called to tell me that my children need to have two separate pairs of god parents not one pair.

And last week it was something about not getting my carpets cleaned with toxic chemicals. Yes mom...I made sure to seek out the companies WITH toxic chemicals when choosing a place to clean my carpet.

And then there's all the random older women that keep telling me to make sure to exercise as much as possible because it makes for an easier labor. I would say so...If I did any type of exercise now I would end up going into labor right now! So I then have to explain that in my condition my doctor has ordered no exercise for me. That seems to bewilder them. I feel like screaming...listen! No pregnancy is the same! Just deal with it!

Oh and then my mother also called to let me know that she really has an issue with sushi girl's middle name. To which I just replied. "Gee I'm sorry to hear that, but it's not changing".

All these comments along with the horrified glances of how big I've grown (from even pregnant women!) has just made me down right irritable. And that's not even going into the pregnancy brain.

Let me explain my personal experience with pregnancy brain. Now don't be confused...I am not bragging or anything but seriously I feel the world has lost their mind. My husband when taking me around seems to be driving more irratically than ever, and this coming from a man who I used to say drove like a grandpa. He almost mowed a poor older lady down the other day crossing the cross walk because he didn't notice her. If it wasn't for me screaming at the top of my lungs, "WATCH THE LADY!" that poor woman may have not had a chance. He turns left when I tell him to turn right and misses turns so that we have to circle around the block umpteenth times. Before I left work my whole staff had pregnancy brain for the last 3 months. And just last week I went to put a deposit into an IRA account and I had to remind the darn bank clerk to actually take my money. He seriously was just going to say that I deposited 2k without even a check for the money. I had to remind him! Made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't.

For me everything seems perfectly clear as a bell. I mean, despite the occasional forgetting a word or something...like I'll want to use a word like psychiatrist but forget the word. Annoying things like that...but at least my thoughts are clear. I'm not sure which is worse these days though...trudging through in some pregnancy daze? Or being surrounded by others in a daze. I think I'm expelling some sort of toxic pregnancy chemical that is affecting everyone around me!

# 567 to do on my list - update Blog

First off....nope no sushi nuggets yet. Can you believe it, my counter says 10 days left. Holy Crap! Can that be right? This time around I haven't updated because I've had so much going on that I just haven't had time.

I am now 35+ weeks. I've been having what I call my "stressful" non-stress tests twice a week since last week. The first time I went in we experienced major stress because Baby Girl sushi nugget's heart beat could not be found. Seriously the tech tried for about a half hour, with me getting more and more concerned every minute. Finally we went in for an ultrasound and the doctor found her way way at the bottom. I kept telling the tech that she was way down there but she just couldn't find it. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

The second non-stress test involved me getting there and instantly seeing a woman just bawling outside in the waiting room. You didn't have to tell me what happened there...been there done that many a time. It's obvious she just found out she lost her baby. It was all I could do in my hormonal state to not start bawling even harder for her. It's still such a sensitive matter for me and as we all say we'll hold on to those feelings forever. My husband quickly wheeled my wheelchair around the corner so she wouldn't be in sight. (That's right wheel chair...do to the fact that I have hurt my foot - more on that later and that I can't walk fast or much any more and that my doctor's office is clear on the other side of the hospital, I have to borrow a wheel chair each time I go in).

Each non-stress test involves a ton of goop put on on my stomach, with all my mega stretchmarks in full view and those scratchy darn Velcro straps all over me. Not to mention that it's freezing in that room so my stomach gets cold easily. It's like some new type of torture. And we've now come to the realization that Girl sushi nugget is way at the bottom and in the back so I end up holding that doppler against my stomach for about a 1/2 hour and getting hand cramps. Yes I know...there are worse things out there. And that's what I tell myself each time.

So far I've had no contractions during the tests and my fluid levels still look decent. But in this last appointment on Monday the doctor freaked us out by saying, "Well they could come any day now...twins often come around 35 weeks. If you haven't had them yet, we'll see you on Thursday." EXCUSE ME? DO YOU MEAN THIS THURSDAY??? AS IN A FREAKING COUPLE OF DAYS AWAY?! My husband and I were quite quiet on the way home and then we went into operation "GET IT DONE" mode. I started doing baby laundry like no one's business and he started making lists about what meals he was going to make and freeze. Since Monday (what was that yesterday?) we've gotten a lot done. We've at least attempted to start packing a hospital bag (I know, I'm not sure why this has been so difficult to do thus far...it should have been done weeks ago) and two of our 3 nursery pieces were delivered yesterday after me having a "talk" with the store last week after hearing a message on my cell with the comment from the sales girl "Good news! Your furniture will be here in about 3 weeks!" Uh, how is that good news if it's 3 weeks later than you promised. I DON'T THINK SO. So I pulled the "twins card and the I shopped at your store instead of a big store because I believe in supporting the small business owner and the in this economy you should really focus on making it convenient for your customers and not creating disappointment...if you know what I mean, card." And whalla! Crib and dresser are delivered on Monday. Seriously people...don't mess with a woman with hormones - that's the lesson here.

Let's see what else...oh on the work topic...I'm not sure who that woman was that posted that she felt guilty about quitting work two weeks out from her c-section date but I soon got over it when that weekend I ate some slightly more spicy food than I should have and had a horrible night. I felt lots of cramping, nausea and heart burn and feared I would go into labor that night. By the way, I totally believe that spicy foods brings on labor now - which I truly thought was a myth before. I do appreciate all your comments about not feeling guilty...that definitely helped too. I never thought about the fact that I should rest as much as possible before hand since I obviously won't have a chance after they come.

I called my doctor and told her I want my last day to be Friday and it was done. I was tired of getting all those creepy horror looks from people in the office that didn't know me anyways; like I was some person with three heads or something. Seriously people haven't you ever seen a person 8 months pregnant with twins? Which also reminds me I need to post some belly pictures. I've gone from "wow you're kinda small for having twins" to "yeah you look like you're ready to deliver any minute". How did that happen?

So as of this week I am free from work and it feels UNBELIEVABLE. Such a relief from the stress. All I do is nap, eat and put my feet up...in between freaking out and trying to get the babies room ready of course. But I can definitely feel the difference and am so happy I did it. It was the right thing for me.

And now...what are we feeling at this point? Well I'm feeling quite huge, can't walk much, and have somehow hurt my left foot. It's been like this for about a week now. It happened the day after my husband was giving me a foot massage and it felt like something was broken or sprained. Which is ironic because while he was giving me the massage it didn't hurt at all. Mr. sushinut kept on saying that it was just the pregnancy and that feet in pregnancy hurt all the time...but I kept on explaining that it was only one foot...why only one foot? I think he's coming around now when I show him how if I walk for awhile that one foot swells up a bit, and it hurts for me to put pressure on it. We asked the doctor if it's safe to get an X-ray on it and he said it was fine and won't harm the nuggets. But as soon as we asked, I swear it's been feeling better. It's the area on top of my foot right below my last 3 toes. Very strange...but it does seem to get better the more I have my foot up...so I'm trying that as best as I can before I ask for an X-ray...I have a feeling it's just a sprain or something because if it was broken I assume I wouldn't be able to walk at all on it.

Other than the foot issue, I've been seriously itchy...I think it's from dry skin or just plain stretching. I've been eating more...not sure if it's because I'm home or because I feel more hungry...but I still eat small meals often so I don't get nauseous. Sleeping at night proves to be a challenge because either they wake me up with their kicking our I get a sore hip from laying on my left side. But I can't change to my right side because I feel that they kick me more when I do not to mention I get more nauseous and feel out of breath when I sleep on that side. It seems like I enjoy shorter 2 hour naps during the day, which I guess is getting me prepared with what I'll be able to do when they get here. I get some what of a backache when I sit in one place for too long but that's been happening for awhile. My breasts still haven't gotten any bigger but are still sore from time to time each day. Let's face it...overall I just feel like a bull in a china shop.

So far we've done the following (this list is more for making me feel more prepared than anything): We've done our infant CPR class, I've taken a breast feeding class (extremely helpful by the way if you can find a good one and you haven't ever done this before...I feel much more confident), we currently just have one more "Baby Care" class to take this Thursday, which was helpful for both of us...especially mr. sushinut who's only held a baby like twice in his life. I especially like the class that went over all the medications etc. It's taught by a nurse so she's super knowledgeable. Car seats are installed. Stroller is in back trunk. Crib and dresser are setup. Bassinets are set up and ready in our bedroom. Most baby clothes are washed. Diapers are stacked in organizers all over the house. And an email explaining hospital hours and location information has been sent to family.

My goals for this week: Finish packing hospital bag, finish putting away all baby clothes. Dropping off a deposit to a day care...we are still pondering which one to use. Planting some spring flowers in front so when visitors come it looks welcoming. And getting my taxes done so the sushinuggets don't have a mom who's gone to jail. Well at least if I do go to jail my home looks springy with flowers outside. Right? Priorities, priorities. Yup it's official...I'm a mess.

33 1/2 Week ponderings - to work or not to work

So...this post is going to be more about me than the sushi nuggets. Well in a way.

First off I seem to have issues with my upcoming leave from work. Today I realized that if I go by plan I have only this week and next week left of work and then I am supposedly supposed to take the 2 weeks prior to delivery off. Completely. I keep going back and forth on whether I should continue to work from home at that time or just cut cold turkey and feel completely guilty for leaving work. Yet I also feel completely guilty that if I don't take this time from work the nuggets may come early and it will be all because I've over done it. Sigh.

All signs seem to point to taking the 2 weeks before the planned c-section off but I just can't visualize myself not working. Not to mention poor mr. sushi nut is only working sporadically as a contractor due to a cut back in patients due to the economy. It just doesn't seem right to stop working. I know at the beginning I will be paid but later after birth this time prior to birth might edge into some of my pay.

At my last dr. appt. I asked the nurse about how the doctor does her note to ask for leave and start disability. She said, "You're not working still are you!???" I was like "Uh, actually I am but I am going to start working part time from home." She asked if the doctor was aware of this...and I said yes. She said it was almost unheard of for a woman carrying twins at that practice to be still working at all...home or not. Not to mention I'm increasingly uncomfortable...every single freakin minute! I was in a meeting this morning and couldn't barely get through the hour. I can't sit at my desk comfortably, I can't sleep comfortably at night...and therefore feel like taking a nap at home in the middle of the day but because I'm trying to keep up with my work (both at home and in the office) I really don't have time for a nap mid day. If I were completely off work I obviously would. I can't really walk comfortably...just getting in the car is a chore. Getting ready for work is a chore. And carrying my heavy laptop from home to work is a chore.

Earlier this evening it just hit me...I will be having 2 little babies in hand in the near future if all goes right. How did I get here? Me, the work-a-holic will have to leave all behind to take care of them. Don't get me wrong...once on leave I usually leave work behind quite easily. It's just the first few steps that are the hardest. Am I crazy? Or has anyone else felt like this? Is taking the last 2 weeks before your c-section while pregnant with twins completely selfish? Or am I obviously completely out of whack with my perspectives? I always thought maternity leave was a god send...like you are having a baby and it's completely beyond your control as to whether you need to leave or not...but in this case...I just might be able to extend things a little longer? Or would I? This is the risk I would take. Sigh.

8 months update

So apparently the "fall" that I had talked about in the last post had no effect on the little nuggets (as many suggested it wouldn't - thank you) ...what a relief. My appointment on Monday went as well as I could have hoped for. The nuggets as my peri says are doing very very well. And are growing well. Our little girl nugget is averaging about 4 pounds and our boy nugget is 4.5 pounds. Both have the correct amount of amnio fluid still around them and there doesn't seem to be any issues. My blood pressure (knock on wood) still continues to be good.

And for all my worrying or should I say my mother who makes me worry, continuously telling me that I'm not "big enough" to be carrying twins...aka there must be something wrong; my ob is measuring me at 39 weeks even though I'm only 32. So there!

I feel as big as a house so that should make sense. The stretching is just insane at times and their movements and kicking has come to be almost abusive at times, which freaks me out and consoles me all at once. If that makes any sense. Other than that nothing else much to report...except that I seriously cannot walk very far now at all and have started (finally) feeling warmer. This whole pregnancy I've felt cold or normal I guess even though they say pregnant women should always feel hot. I can tell that I'm becoming by far more irritated. Especially at work. I consistently wonder how all these people are going to handle the simplest of duties when I'm gone...And everything just annoys me to no end. I am feeling a lot more tired now too and at times feel like taking a nap in the middle of the day...which I should really start giving in to.

All in all, I seriously just can't believe I'm at this point...I mean 8 months? I only have another month to go! Which I know will absolutely fly by. My goal still is to have them stay in there until my planned c-section. Still working 1/2 days from home and going into the office the other half, which for now is working fine...except for the fact that I'm fresh out of patience with everyone at work. But I guess that's all part of the fun. I'm convinced everyone has pregnancy brain and I don't ;) I still think pregnancy brain is a myth by the way...I feel it's simply what happens when a woman doesn't have caffeine for 9 months. Seriously anyone would forget things then!

30 Weeks and counting...

Once again everyone thank you so much for the well wishes and advice. Seriously, just keep the suggestions coming because lord knows I don't know what I'm doing. I had a friend ask me before my shower if I'm a "Pampers." mom or a "Huggies." mom. To which I replied, Hell if I know! You pick for me!

My baby ticker says that I have 43 days left which just freaks me out. I've been consistently flipping between fear of premature labor and just wanting this pregnancy done and dusted. I just keep thinking of what "Kate" said in the popular show John.and.Kate.plus.eight, or maybe it was in their book (which I received as a christmas present)...she worked her way through bed rest every day by reminding herself that she at least needs to get to 30 weeks for the sextuplets to be healthy. Of course I'm not carrying 6...but still...getting to the big 3-0 makes me feel a little better.


As of the last peri appt. (at what was it? 27 weeks, 28 weeks) the nuggets continue to be utero superstars and are measuring right on target for their age. The boy nugget weighing in at an approximate 2 pounds 14 ounces. And the girl nugget at approximately 2 pounds 12 ounces. The girl was pretty much hogging the camera the whole time (as any female should) and we got a shot of her face but because the boy was looking directly towards his sister it was difficult to get a shot of his face.

They are both currently in breach position, thus me thanking my ob for already scheduling a c-section. People are still saying a look pretty small for twins but the doctor lovingly said I was just all baby. That's the first time for that! I've never thought I'd be one of those girls that are "just all baby" but hey if that's what he says, who am I to argue!?


At my last OB appt. I also spoke to my dr. about possibly working from home. It freaks me out that a lot of twin moms are on bedrest by now and I'm still hauling my ass to work for a 9-10 hour day. Seriously last week I was thinking I don't know how I was going to get through February. But my OB took it a step further from my thought of starting to work from home in March and said that now was the time that premature labor was a risk...so we negotiated and I'm doing 1/2 days at home starting this week. Which has made me feel soooooooooooo much better.

I've had my 2nd meeting with HR trying to figure out exactly how much time I can take at the most pay possible to which I am still utterly confused, but am thinking that 4 months should be acceptable for twins, and a c-section. I feel a little guilty taking 4 months post birth and not 3 but seriously people...it's twins! I can't just slap them in day care the day they get out of the hospital! If all goes well and they are delivered ala c-section on 3/27 that will make them 37 weeks. Still not entirely full term.

Speaking of premature labor does anyone know if falling can cause premature labor? Yes seriously...I fell today at work tripping over my own feet. I've been so careful lately too because I have stairs in my home and am freaked out about tumbling down them or falling in the shower. But no...I just fall at work in the hallway. Luckily I landed on my left knee (as I did last time) but also last time I started bleeding that night awful clots which led to an emergency scan on Saturdary morning at Dr. frozen embryo's office. All was miraculously okay with the nuggets but what does this do to them at 30 weeks? People were freaked out at work but I seriously felt fine...just a little in shock. They've been moving all evening long and I haven't noticed any cramping (knock on wood). I guess we'll have to wait til tonight if we see an encore of anything major. And of course tonight is the night that mr. sushi nut is staying at his parents. So if I go into labor I'll be driving myself to the hospital.

I have been having a few braxton hicks contractions tonight but those have been usually regular for the past few weeks. At least I think they are braxton hicks since a random bump on my stomach (sometimes on a side or sometimes in the middle) become super stretched and hard. No pain...just a lot of stretching. And then go away a few seconds later.

Also since the last time I posted I had my baby shower. It wasn't as bad as I had thought it might be... games were kept to a minimum and everyone seemed to have a nice lunch. Personally it was just nice to sit back relax and let someone else plan the event for once. We received plenty of great gifts, although there is still much to buy. And best of all we had a diaper raffle where if you brought a pack of diapers you would be entered to win a great prize. And so now sits a towering diaper pile in my soon to be nursery.


Speaking of the nursery it is painted and ready for the carpet to be shampooed which I would like to get done asap so that it can air out for at least a month before they come. But of course wouldn't you know it the few weeks of rain we do get here in California are here now making getting carpets cleaned a disaster with this wet weather.

Other than that we trek along going on tours of day cares. We've seen a few good ones and one that I really like but it's sort of pricey. So I'm getting closer hopefully on a decision. We've chosen a Pediatrician and I'm going to pre-register at the hospital next week. Only thing is that we missed this month's darn hospital tour and so I'll be going next week. I can't really walk very fast or much now so next month should be interesting for a hospital tour. I asked if I could use a wheel chair and they said they'd accomodate. I hate to be the prissy twins pregnant lady but I will seriously be holding up the group if they wait for me to follow...not to mention I just might go into labor due to the walking. Or worse trip...or worse both!

Oh and one final thing we did do was join a local twins club. Looks like we have a darn good one too because these people are the best ever with their advice and what not. Even mr. sushi nut came to a meeting and felt relieved talking to everyone. I'm so happy I found them. The only thing is that mr. sushinut and another member had a brilliant idea of us going over to a newbie twin parents house and helping out to see how it really is to have newborn twins. Unfortunately I'm not a spry 20 weeks pregnant anymore and I really don't know how much I'll be able to do but I'm certainly willing to give it a try.

Other than that I'm just freaking out randomly about anything and everything and trying to refer back to my favorite twin blogs about what their pregnancy was like at 30 weeks. Bare with me...only 7 weeks to go!

28 weeks and counting...

Seriously, this 3 week lull (if not more) of not blogging, needs to stop. I'm constantly in a state of rushing around getting stuff done or tiredness.

28 weeks this last Friday. Wow...this truly is amazing. I constantly fluctuate between pride that I have two little growing nuggets (and yes I was mistaken in my last post, they were last noted as 1 pound 6 ounces and 1 pound 5 ounces, I should correct) inside me or freaking out that a) there is not enough movement and b) there is two much movement and they are being strangled by their cords. (Yes my latest compulsion...you knew that it was coming).

My baby shower is next weekend and it seems so weird. I always go to baby showers...I don't actually have them! I'm usually the one in the corner drinking her 5th mimosa thinking...yes my outfit is definitely cutest.

Things I'm feeling:

Well I definitely feel the fatigue of the 3rd trimester. For as much energy as I did have a month ago I have far less now. Which makes running around getting the baby stuff done extremely hard.

So far though we've managed to pick up our stroller, 2 car seats, order our nursery furniture, paint the office (which will soon be the nursery), take a bunch of furniture and stuff to storage and even use some credit card rewards to purchase some babiesrus gift cards...but we still have yet to look at any other daycares besides my work's one, which has a waiting list of about 2 years long. Sigh. I think I might have a pediatrician that my ob suggested but it wasn't the greatest suggestion because she didn't seem too enthused about any of them in my group. Swell. And I have no idea if I should splurge on cord banking for twins!

I continue to have this strange sunburn feeling (which all the doctors say is heart burn) half way down the left side of my stomach (seriously...how could that be heart burn right!? it's clearly away from my heart) I'm chalking it up to stretching as well as the sudden intrusive rib pain that I occasionally will get which I'm sure is someone kicking my ribs.

Of course two days ago I awoke with the worst leg cramp ever that I'm still feeling the pain from and am either hobbling to the bathroom or to find a chair to sit down somewhere. I look and feel like I've been hit my a bus. I so wish that I could go on at least partial bedrest right now but at the same time I'd rather not and save the time with the babies later. Which brings me to another worry of why in the world has my doctor not put me on bed rest yet (knocking on wood)? And is this causing some harm to them? My doctor who initially said that she'd like me to stop working starting week 26, has now changed her mind to let me continue as long as everything is going fine since I pretty much sit all day.

My last appointment with her just a week ago, proved that both are still alive and kicking in there...but after a few days my doubts creep back and I find that my weeks are just spent waiting for the next weekend to have a break from the stresses of work or the next doctor's appt. My next peri appt. is on monday with another ultra sound and more measurements. On the good news front, I passed my 1 hour glucose test with flying colors, even after the nurse warned me that I might not, due to the fact I have twins. So yay sushi nuggets! I hear the 3 hour test is no picnic.

Other than that my only noticeable changes is that I'm not feeling very hungry lately (although I've never been ravenous) and that I'm feeling hotter than usual...especially after feeling cold all the beginning of the pregnancy. Oh and also there's the fact that I can't walk for very long, or stand for very long, sit for very long or sleep for very long. Which makes for a very comfortable 3rd trimester. Joy.

Well more news tomorrow when I have my measurements appt. Wish me luck that the nuggets are growing as needed.

25 Weeks - Happy New Year

So, I've been trying to post for what seems like forever but work has been so busy that I just can't seem to muster up the energy to write a post at night. Now that the holidays are behind us maybe there will be more time. Except that this week seems to be just as busy.

Which reminds me...hope everyone had a good one...or at least one they got through. The holidays remind me so much of past years of hardships where my situation was not as good as it is this year and so I feel for those out there that may be still waiting for their ship to come in. Not that it gets any better once you are at 25 weeks. It will always be on my mind...until the day I deliver. Last year I was cautiously elated about finally getting a 2nd BFP. Only to find out 8 weeks later I would soon be miscarrying. And on and on it went.

So although I had limited energy this year and decided to not do the whole big tree extravaganza thing like I do each year I sort of made it a holiday of remembrance for me and all those people out there who like me have had hard earned hope during the holidays. Thus the two pictures I'm posting.

This first picture is one of our tree. Much smaller than usual. And I must admit I had intended to get something a tad larger than this but found myself scrambling at the last minute. Mr. Sushinut begged for me to get a "small" tree this year so I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of taking it down and putting it up. And so this was our "coffee table tree". As you can see I couldn't be bothered taking out many ornaments either...or rather the tree branches were so delicate they didn't hold much weight. You may be wondering, "hey what's with the butterflies, sushinut?". Well here's a little something that I don't think I've mentioned before here. For whatever reason with this pregnancy from the very beginning I've been seeing butterflies everywhere. (Most likely because it was summer time, when I first got pregnant). But even as fall came and winter set in I've still been seeing them. And at the most unusual times. It seems that whenever I'm feeling concerned about the nuggets I will look out my office window and see a butterfly just fluttering outside. Or when I'm on my way to an appt. (like the amnio) I'll say to myself...If I see a butterfly on the way I'll know it's going to be okay. And each time I have...and each time it has been okay. So call it coincidence...call it spring...call it an extended freak of nature that we have butterflies in winter here. But it's sort of become my thing if you will. And so I purchased some adorable clip on butterfly ornaments especially in honor of the nuggets. In hopes that this coming spring they will blossom into butterflies themselves.

Next is a picture of my attempt at positive thinking one early December day when I found two small cute stockings, one girlish and one boyish and went out on a limb and purchased them for our mantel. As I was prepping them for hanging...I thought "Boy am I setting myself up for disappointment". But I carried on and hung them with care. Even as I put them away in my storage boxes after the new year I wondered if I would find them again next year with a smile on my face and two little ones crawling near by...or would it be utter heart break. I tell you...it just never gets easier. Or maybe I'm just the only loser that dwells on these things.

And so that was my holiday...for New Year's mr. Sushinut and I spent a great time having dinner with some close friends. I splurged on lobster as they splurged on champagne. And mr. sushinut and I returned back home before midnight to celebrate a quiet New Year's eve together. It was relaxing and just what I wanted.

As for my current status. We've had some major stretching pains lately. If feels as if I've gone to the gym and worked too hard on the inner thigh machine. Is this normal?

My last appt. with the OB and Perinatologist all went fine. The nuggets seem to be on target with measurements. With the girl weighing in at 1.5 oz and the boy at 1.6oz. This was of course at about 22/23 weeks I think. So hopefully all has been going well since then. Their heartbeats were about 148 for the girl and 143 for the boy. I guess in this case it is true as I've read that girls have faster heart rates.

Besides having a horrendous mid back pain which then moves to my front and feels like I have a bad case of sunburn if I sit for too long....or feeling like my stomach is going to fall off if I stand too long, I haven't been in too bad shape. But I can already feel the uncomfortableness of the 3rd trimester setting in. It's been harder and harder to sleep comfortably especially on my left side for the whole night like my ob requested. And I honestly don't know how women with twins in the 3rd trimester get out of bed or flip to the other side. I feel like an elephant trying to now. Not to mention that the shoe tying business is getting trickier and trickier by the day. But all of these things I would take on a hundred times over just to get to the end with the main prize. That's it...I just need to keep my eye on the prize I suppose.

So that's it for now, but I promise to post more this week to catch up with pictures etc. I feel I'm so behind on my blog that when I finally sit down to write I've forgotten half of what I would like to say.

Toodles for now.