I could go through and try to some feeble attempt at my own "Night Before" poem but seriously, patience is limited tonight.
So this is it...tomorrow morning I need to be at the hospital at 5am. I would normally groan at that except I've been getting less and less sleep anyhow with how uncomfortable I am. They have have formed some sort of schedule (which I'm sure will continue when they are out of the womb) to be up bumping around in me from 2a-4a. Fabulous.
Tonight I had my last supper, which was coconut shrimp at out.back.steak.house. I just love the coconut shrimp there. And I was in full shlub mode. I had my grey sweats on that still had the dried doppler goop on it from this morning's non-stress test along with no bra and a sweater, plus my hair up in a pony tail in a baseball hat. All I was missing was the spit up. Apparently I'm adapting well to new motherhood already.
Today was sort of strange...actually the last few days have been strange. I go between just being in awe of what is going to become of my life and just doing basic things...like this afternoon I planted flowers. Seriously...how hysterical is that.
Well I better finish this up because someone is majorly kicking my bladder YET AGAIN. As they say at 2a when bars are closing up, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here nuggets." Tomorrow is eviction day. And I can't wait :)
See you all on the other side!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Week 36 - This is definitely not my most attractive moment
Okay so first off everyone is doing fine. At my last non-stress test Girl Sushi nugget wasn't moving that much but her heart beat was fine and the doctor said it was perfectly fine. Well somehow she must be making up for things because she seriously is rocking and rolling today. I've noticed myself that my stomach has dropped well beyond obvious proportions. Does this mean I will be going in sooner?
I am so friggen uncomfortable that I'm wondering how I can go for another week. I'm pretty much trapped at home because I can't walk that much (although my foot has gotten better) and I can't stand for very long. My cleaning lady came today and cleaned the whole house (which makes me feel much better) and I just sat there. That was pretty much the extent of my activity for the day except talking to my mother in law on the phone and going out (because I couldn't handle it anymore) to pick up some dinner. Mr. Sushinut had to work today...which wasn't so bad because I've gotten to that point where EVERYTHING agitates me. Which brings me to the next complaint...
If I hear one more crack comment from any stranger or even worse my mother about random weird pregnancy things I'm going to sock someone. Seriously.
My mother called me yesterday to let me know that I'm going to have a spinal (epidural?) for the c-section. My response... "well I friggen hope I have SOMETHING". She thinks because she had a c-section 37 years ago she is all knowing. Then she went on to tell me some crack story how the nurse kneed her in the stomach really hard so that she would bend over more when she got it and to tell my doctor that I didn't want that done. I was like what in GOD are you talking about woman!
The day before she called to tell me that my children need to have two separate pairs of god parents not one pair.
And last week it was something about not getting my carpets cleaned with toxic chemicals. Yes mom...I made sure to seek out the companies WITH toxic chemicals when choosing a place to clean my carpet.
And then there's all the random older women that keep telling me to make sure to exercise as much as possible because it makes for an easier labor. I would say so...If I did any type of exercise now I would end up going into labor right now! So I then have to explain that in my condition my doctor has ordered no exercise for me. That seems to bewilder them. I feel like screaming...listen! No pregnancy is the same! Just deal with it!
Oh and then my mother also called to let me know that she really has an issue with sushi girl's middle name. To which I just replied. "Gee I'm sorry to hear that, but it's not changing".
All these comments along with the horrified glances of how big I've grown (from even pregnant women!) has just made me down right irritable. And that's not even going into the pregnancy brain.
Let me explain my personal experience with pregnancy brain. Now don't be confused...I am not bragging or anything but seriously I feel the world has lost their mind. My husband when taking me around seems to be driving more irratically than ever, and this coming from a man who I used to say drove like a grandpa. He almost mowed a poor older lady down the other day crossing the cross walk because he didn't notice her. If it wasn't for me screaming at the top of my lungs, "WATCH THE LADY!" that poor woman may have not had a chance. He turns left when I tell him to turn right and misses turns so that we have to circle around the block umpteenth times. Before I left work my whole staff had pregnancy brain for the last 3 months. And just last week I went to put a deposit into an IRA account and I had to remind the darn bank clerk to actually take my money. He seriously was just going to say that I deposited 2k without even a check for the money. I had to remind him! Made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't.
For me everything seems perfectly clear as a bell. I mean, despite the occasional forgetting a word or something...like I'll want to use a word like psychiatrist but forget the word. Annoying things like that...but at least my thoughts are clear. I'm not sure which is worse these days though...trudging through in some pregnancy daze? Or being surrounded by others in a daze. I think I'm expelling some sort of toxic pregnancy chemical that is affecting everyone around me!
I am so friggen uncomfortable that I'm wondering how I can go for another week. I'm pretty much trapped at home because I can't walk that much (although my foot has gotten better) and I can't stand for very long. My cleaning lady came today and cleaned the whole house (which makes me feel much better) and I just sat there. That was pretty much the extent of my activity for the day except talking to my mother in law on the phone and going out (because I couldn't handle it anymore) to pick up some dinner. Mr. Sushinut had to work today...which wasn't so bad because I've gotten to that point where EVERYTHING agitates me. Which brings me to the next complaint...
If I hear one more crack comment from any stranger or even worse my mother about random weird pregnancy things I'm going to sock someone. Seriously.
My mother called me yesterday to let me know that I'm going to have a spinal (epidural?) for the c-section. My response... "well I friggen hope I have SOMETHING". She thinks because she had a c-section 37 years ago she is all knowing. Then she went on to tell me some crack story how the nurse kneed her in the stomach really hard so that she would bend over more when she got it and to tell my doctor that I didn't want that done. I was like what in GOD are you talking about woman!
The day before she called to tell me that my children need to have two separate pairs of god parents not one pair.
And last week it was something about not getting my carpets cleaned with toxic chemicals. Yes mom...I made sure to seek out the companies WITH toxic chemicals when choosing a place to clean my carpet.
And then there's all the random older women that keep telling me to make sure to exercise as much as possible because it makes for an easier labor. I would say so...If I did any type of exercise now I would end up going into labor right now! So I then have to explain that in my condition my doctor has ordered no exercise for me. That seems to bewilder them. I feel like screaming...listen! No pregnancy is the same! Just deal with it!
Oh and then my mother also called to let me know that she really has an issue with sushi girl's middle name. To which I just replied. "Gee I'm sorry to hear that, but it's not changing".
All these comments along with the horrified glances of how big I've grown (from even pregnant women!) has just made me down right irritable. And that's not even going into the pregnancy brain.
Let me explain my personal experience with pregnancy brain. Now don't be confused...I am not bragging or anything but seriously I feel the world has lost their mind. My husband when taking me around seems to be driving more irratically than ever, and this coming from a man who I used to say drove like a grandpa. He almost mowed a poor older lady down the other day crossing the cross walk because he didn't notice her. If it wasn't for me screaming at the top of my lungs, "WATCH THE LADY!" that poor woman may have not had a chance. He turns left when I tell him to turn right and misses turns so that we have to circle around the block umpteenth times. Before I left work my whole staff had pregnancy brain for the last 3 months. And just last week I went to put a deposit into an IRA account and I had to remind the darn bank clerk to actually take my money. He seriously was just going to say that I deposited 2k without even a check for the money. I had to remind him! Made me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't.
For me everything seems perfectly clear as a bell. I mean, despite the occasional forgetting a word or something...like I'll want to use a word like psychiatrist but forget the word. Annoying things like that...but at least my thoughts are clear. I'm not sure which is worse these days though...trudging through in some pregnancy daze? Or being surrounded by others in a daze. I think I'm expelling some sort of toxic pregnancy chemical that is affecting everyone around me!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
# 567 to do on my list - update Blog
First off....nope no sushi nuggets yet. Can you believe it, my counter says 10 days left. Holy Crap! Can that be right? This time around I haven't updated because I've had so much going on that I just haven't had time.
I am now 35+ weeks. I've been having what I call my "stressful" non-stress tests twice a week since last week. The first time I went in we experienced major stress because Baby Girl sushi nugget's heart beat could not be found. Seriously the tech tried for about a half hour, with me getting more and more concerned every minute. Finally we went in for an ultrasound and the doctor found her way way at the bottom. I kept telling the tech that she was way down there but she just couldn't find it. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.
The second non-stress test involved me getting there and instantly seeing a woman just bawling outside in the waiting room. You didn't have to tell me what happened there...been there done that many a time. It's obvious she just found out she lost her baby. It was all I could do in my hormonal state to not start bawling even harder for her. It's still such a sensitive matter for me and as we all say we'll hold on to those feelings forever. My husband quickly wheeled my wheelchair around the corner so she wouldn't be in sight. (That's right wheel chair...do to the fact that I have hurt my foot - more on that later and that I can't walk fast or much any more and that my doctor's office is clear on the other side of the hospital, I have to borrow a wheel chair each time I go in).
Each non-stress test involves a ton of goop put on on my stomach, with all my mega stretchmarks in full view and those scratchy darn Velcro straps all over me. Not to mention that it's freezing in that room so my stomach gets cold easily. It's like some new type of torture. And we've now come to the realization that Girl sushi nugget is way at the bottom and in the back so I end up holding that doppler against my stomach for about a 1/2 hour and getting hand cramps. Yes I know...there are worse things out there. And that's what I tell myself each time.
So far I've had no contractions during the tests and my fluid levels still look decent. But in this last appointment on Monday the doctor freaked us out by saying, "Well they could come any day now...twins often come around 35 weeks. If you haven't had them yet, we'll see you on Thursday." EXCUSE ME? DO YOU MEAN THIS THURSDAY??? AS IN A FREAKING COUPLE OF DAYS AWAY?! My husband and I were quite quiet on the way home and then we went into operation "GET IT DONE" mode. I started doing baby laundry like no one's business and he started making lists about what meals he was going to make and freeze. Since Monday (what was that yesterday?) we've gotten a lot done. We've at least attempted to start packing a hospital bag (I know, I'm not sure why this has been so difficult to do thus far...it should have been done weeks ago) and two of our 3 nursery pieces were delivered yesterday after me having a "talk" with the store last week after hearing a message on my cell with the comment from the sales girl "Good news! Your furniture will be here in about 3 weeks!" Uh, how is that good news if it's 3 weeks later than you promised. I DON'T THINK SO. So I pulled the "twins card and the I shopped at your store instead of a big store because I believe in supporting the small business owner and the in this economy you should really focus on making it convenient for your customers and not creating disappointment...if you know what I mean, card." And whalla! Crib and dresser are delivered on Monday. Seriously people...don't mess with a woman with hormones - that's the lesson here.
Let's see what else...oh on the work topic...I'm not sure who that woman was that posted that she felt guilty about quitting work two weeks out from her c-section date but I soon got over it when that weekend I ate some slightly more spicy food than I should have and had a horrible night. I felt lots of cramping, nausea and heart burn and feared I would go into labor that night. By the way, I totally believe that spicy foods brings on labor now - which I truly thought was a myth before. I do appreciate all your comments about not feeling guilty...that definitely helped too. I never thought about the fact that I should rest as much as possible before hand since I obviously won't have a chance after they come.
I called my doctor and told her I want my last day to be Friday and it was done. I was tired of getting all those creepy horror looks from people in the office that didn't know me anyways; like I was some person with three heads or something. Seriously people haven't you ever seen a person 8 months pregnant with twins? Which also reminds me I need to post some belly pictures. I've gone from "wow you're kinda small for having twins" to "yeah you look like you're ready to deliver any minute". How did that happen?
So as of this week I am free from work and it feels UNBELIEVABLE. Such a relief from the stress. All I do is nap, eat and put my feet up...in between freaking out and trying to get the babies room ready of course. But I can definitely feel the difference and am so happy I did it. It was the right thing for me.
And now...what are we feeling at this point? Well I'm feeling quite huge, can't walk much, and have somehow hurt my left foot. It's been like this for about a week now. It happened the day after my husband was giving me a foot massage and it felt like something was broken or sprained. Which is ironic because while he was giving me the massage it didn't hurt at all. Mr. sushinut kept on saying that it was just the pregnancy and that feet in pregnancy hurt all the time...but I kept on explaining that it was only one foot...why only one foot? I think he's coming around now when I show him how if I walk for awhile that one foot swells up a bit, and it hurts for me to put pressure on it. We asked the doctor if it's safe to get an X-ray on it and he said it was fine and won't harm the nuggets. But as soon as we asked, I swear it's been feeling better. It's the area on top of my foot right below my last 3 toes. Very strange...but it does seem to get better the more I have my foot up...so I'm trying that as best as I can before I ask for an X-ray...I have a feeling it's just a sprain or something because if it was broken I assume I wouldn't be able to walk at all on it.
Other than the foot issue, I've been seriously itchy...I think it's from dry skin or just plain stretching. I've been eating more...not sure if it's because I'm home or because I feel more hungry...but I still eat small meals often so I don't get nauseous. Sleeping at night proves to be a challenge because either they wake me up with their kicking our I get a sore hip from laying on my left side. But I can't change to my right side because I feel that they kick me more when I do not to mention I get more nauseous and feel out of breath when I sleep on that side. It seems like I enjoy shorter 2 hour naps during the day, which I guess is getting me prepared with what I'll be able to do when they get here. I get some what of a backache when I sit in one place for too long but that's been happening for awhile. My breasts still haven't gotten any bigger but are still sore from time to time each day. Let's face it...overall I just feel like a bull in a china shop.
So far we've done the following (this list is more for making me feel more prepared than anything): We've done our infant CPR class, I've taken a breast feeding class (extremely helpful by the way if you can find a good one and you haven't ever done this before...I feel much more confident), we currently just have one more "Baby Care" class to take this Thursday, which was helpful for both of us...especially mr. sushinut who's only held a baby like twice in his life. I especially like the class that went over all the medications etc. It's taught by a nurse so she's super knowledgeable. Car seats are installed. Stroller is in back trunk. Crib and dresser are setup. Bassinets are set up and ready in our bedroom. Most baby clothes are washed. Diapers are stacked in organizers all over the house. And an email explaining hospital hours and location information has been sent to family.
My goals for this week: Finish packing hospital bag, finish putting away all baby clothes. Dropping off a deposit to a day care...we are still pondering which one to use. Planting some spring flowers in front so when visitors come it looks welcoming. And getting my taxes done so the sushinuggets don't have a mom who's gone to jail. Well at least if I do go to jail my home looks springy with flowers outside. Right? Priorities, priorities. Yup it's official...I'm a mess.
I am now 35+ weeks. I've been having what I call my "stressful" non-stress tests twice a week since last week. The first time I went in we experienced major stress because Baby Girl sushi nugget's heart beat could not be found. Seriously the tech tried for about a half hour, with me getting more and more concerned every minute. Finally we went in for an ultrasound and the doctor found her way way at the bottom. I kept telling the tech that she was way down there but she just couldn't find it. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.
The second non-stress test involved me getting there and instantly seeing a woman just bawling outside in the waiting room. You didn't have to tell me what happened there...been there done that many a time. It's obvious she just found out she lost her baby. It was all I could do in my hormonal state to not start bawling even harder for her. It's still such a sensitive matter for me and as we all say we'll hold on to those feelings forever. My husband quickly wheeled my wheelchair around the corner so she wouldn't be in sight. (That's right wheel chair...do to the fact that I have hurt my foot - more on that later and that I can't walk fast or much any more and that my doctor's office is clear on the other side of the hospital, I have to borrow a wheel chair each time I go in).
Each non-stress test involves a ton of goop put on on my stomach, with all my mega stretchmarks in full view and those scratchy darn Velcro straps all over me. Not to mention that it's freezing in that room so my stomach gets cold easily. It's like some new type of torture. And we've now come to the realization that Girl sushi nugget is way at the bottom and in the back so I end up holding that doppler against my stomach for about a 1/2 hour and getting hand cramps. Yes I know...there are worse things out there. And that's what I tell myself each time.
So far I've had no contractions during the tests and my fluid levels still look decent. But in this last appointment on Monday the doctor freaked us out by saying, "Well they could come any day now...twins often come around 35 weeks. If you haven't had them yet, we'll see you on Thursday." EXCUSE ME? DO YOU MEAN THIS THURSDAY??? AS IN A FREAKING COUPLE OF DAYS AWAY?! My husband and I were quite quiet on the way home and then we went into operation "GET IT DONE" mode. I started doing baby laundry like no one's business and he started making lists about what meals he was going to make and freeze. Since Monday (what was that yesterday?) we've gotten a lot done. We've at least attempted to start packing a hospital bag (I know, I'm not sure why this has been so difficult to do thus far...it should have been done weeks ago) and two of our 3 nursery pieces were delivered yesterday after me having a "talk" with the store last week after hearing a message on my cell with the comment from the sales girl "Good news! Your furniture will be here in about 3 weeks!" Uh, how is that good news if it's 3 weeks later than you promised. I DON'T THINK SO. So I pulled the "twins card and the I shopped at your store instead of a big store because I believe in supporting the small business owner and the in this economy you should really focus on making it convenient for your customers and not creating disappointment...if you know what I mean, card." And whalla! Crib and dresser are delivered on Monday. Seriously people...don't mess with a woman with hormones - that's the lesson here.
Let's see what else...oh on the work topic...I'm not sure who that woman was that posted that she felt guilty about quitting work two weeks out from her c-section date but I soon got over it when that weekend I ate some slightly more spicy food than I should have and had a horrible night. I felt lots of cramping, nausea and heart burn and feared I would go into labor that night. By the way, I totally believe that spicy foods brings on labor now - which I truly thought was a myth before. I do appreciate all your comments about not feeling guilty...that definitely helped too. I never thought about the fact that I should rest as much as possible before hand since I obviously won't have a chance after they come.
I called my doctor and told her I want my last day to be Friday and it was done. I was tired of getting all those creepy horror looks from people in the office that didn't know me anyways; like I was some person with three heads or something. Seriously people haven't you ever seen a person 8 months pregnant with twins? Which also reminds me I need to post some belly pictures. I've gone from "wow you're kinda small for having twins" to "yeah you look like you're ready to deliver any minute". How did that happen?
So as of this week I am free from work and it feels UNBELIEVABLE. Such a relief from the stress. All I do is nap, eat and put my feet up...in between freaking out and trying to get the babies room ready of course. But I can definitely feel the difference and am so happy I did it. It was the right thing for me.
And now...what are we feeling at this point? Well I'm feeling quite huge, can't walk much, and have somehow hurt my left foot. It's been like this for about a week now. It happened the day after my husband was giving me a foot massage and it felt like something was broken or sprained. Which is ironic because while he was giving me the massage it didn't hurt at all. Mr. sushinut kept on saying that it was just the pregnancy and that feet in pregnancy hurt all the time...but I kept on explaining that it was only one foot...why only one foot? I think he's coming around now when I show him how if I walk for awhile that one foot swells up a bit, and it hurts for me to put pressure on it. We asked the doctor if it's safe to get an X-ray on it and he said it was fine and won't harm the nuggets. But as soon as we asked, I swear it's been feeling better. It's the area on top of my foot right below my last 3 toes. Very strange...but it does seem to get better the more I have my foot up...so I'm trying that as best as I can before I ask for an X-ray...I have a feeling it's just a sprain or something because if it was broken I assume I wouldn't be able to walk at all on it.
Other than the foot issue, I've been seriously itchy...I think it's from dry skin or just plain stretching. I've been eating more...not sure if it's because I'm home or because I feel more hungry...but I still eat small meals often so I don't get nauseous. Sleeping at night proves to be a challenge because either they wake me up with their kicking our I get a sore hip from laying on my left side. But I can't change to my right side because I feel that they kick me more when I do not to mention I get more nauseous and feel out of breath when I sleep on that side. It seems like I enjoy shorter 2 hour naps during the day, which I guess is getting me prepared with what I'll be able to do when they get here. I get some what of a backache when I sit in one place for too long but that's been happening for awhile. My breasts still haven't gotten any bigger but are still sore from time to time each day. Let's face it...overall I just feel like a bull in a china shop.
So far we've done the following (this list is more for making me feel more prepared than anything): We've done our infant CPR class, I've taken a breast feeding class (extremely helpful by the way if you can find a good one and you haven't ever done this before...I feel much more confident), we currently just have one more "Baby Care" class to take this Thursday, which was helpful for both of us...especially mr. sushinut who's only held a baby like twice in his life. I especially like the class that went over all the medications etc. It's taught by a nurse so she's super knowledgeable. Car seats are installed. Stroller is in back trunk. Crib and dresser are setup. Bassinets are set up and ready in our bedroom. Most baby clothes are washed. Diapers are stacked in organizers all over the house. And an email explaining hospital hours and location information has been sent to family.
My goals for this week: Finish packing hospital bag, finish putting away all baby clothes. Dropping off a deposit to a day care...we are still pondering which one to use. Planting some spring flowers in front so when visitors come it looks welcoming. And getting my taxes done so the sushinuggets don't have a mom who's gone to jail. Well at least if I do go to jail my home looks springy with flowers outside. Right? Priorities, priorities. Yup it's official...I'm a mess.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
33 1/2 Week ponderings - to work or not to work
So...this post is going to be more about me than the sushi nuggets. Well in a way.
First off I seem to have issues with my upcoming leave from work. Today I realized that if I go by plan I have only this week and next week left of work and then I am supposedly supposed to take the 2 weeks prior to delivery off. Completely. I keep going back and forth on whether I should continue to work from home at that time or just cut cold turkey and feel completely guilty for leaving work. Yet I also feel completely guilty that if I don't take this time from work the nuggets may come early and it will be all because I've over done it. Sigh.
All signs seem to point to taking the 2 weeks before the planned c-section off but I just can't visualize myself not working. Not to mention poor mr. sushi nut is only working sporadically as a contractor due to a cut back in patients due to the economy. It just doesn't seem right to stop working. I know at the beginning I will be paid but later after birth this time prior to birth might edge into some of my pay.
At my last dr. appt. I asked the nurse about how the doctor does her note to ask for leave and start disability. She said, "You're not working still are you!???" I was like "Uh, actually I am but I am going to start working part time from home." She asked if the doctor was aware of this...and I said yes. She said it was almost unheard of for a woman carrying twins at that practice to be still working at all...home or not. Not to mention I'm increasingly uncomfortable...every single freakin minute! I was in a meeting this morning and couldn't barely get through the hour. I can't sit at my desk comfortably, I can't sleep comfortably at night...and therefore feel like taking a nap at home in the middle of the day but because I'm trying to keep up with my work (both at home and in the office) I really don't have time for a nap mid day. If I were completely off work I obviously would. I can't really walk comfortably...just getting in the car is a chore. Getting ready for work is a chore. And carrying my heavy laptop from home to work is a chore.
Earlier this evening it just hit me...I will be having 2 little babies in hand in the near future if all goes right. How did I get here? Me, the work-a-holic will have to leave all behind to take care of them. Don't get me wrong...once on leave I usually leave work behind quite easily. It's just the first few steps that are the hardest. Am I crazy? Or has anyone else felt like this? Is taking the last 2 weeks before your c-section while pregnant with twins completely selfish? Or am I obviously completely out of whack with my perspectives? I always thought maternity leave was a god send...like you are having a baby and it's completely beyond your control as to whether you need to leave or not...but in this case...I just might be able to extend things a little longer? Or would I? This is the risk I would take. Sigh.
First off I seem to have issues with my upcoming leave from work. Today I realized that if I go by plan I have only this week and next week left of work and then I am supposedly supposed to take the 2 weeks prior to delivery off. Completely. I keep going back and forth on whether I should continue to work from home at that time or just cut cold turkey and feel completely guilty for leaving work. Yet I also feel completely guilty that if I don't take this time from work the nuggets may come early and it will be all because I've over done it. Sigh.
All signs seem to point to taking the 2 weeks before the planned c-section off but I just can't visualize myself not working. Not to mention poor mr. sushi nut is only working sporadically as a contractor due to a cut back in patients due to the economy. It just doesn't seem right to stop working. I know at the beginning I will be paid but later after birth this time prior to birth might edge into some of my pay.
At my last dr. appt. I asked the nurse about how the doctor does her note to ask for leave and start disability. She said, "You're not working still are you!???" I was like "Uh, actually I am but I am going to start working part time from home." She asked if the doctor was aware of this...and I said yes. She said it was almost unheard of for a woman carrying twins at that practice to be still working at all...home or not. Not to mention I'm increasingly uncomfortable...every single freakin minute! I was in a meeting this morning and couldn't barely get through the hour. I can't sit at my desk comfortably, I can't sleep comfortably at night...and therefore feel like taking a nap at home in the middle of the day but because I'm trying to keep up with my work (both at home and in the office) I really don't have time for a nap mid day. If I were completely off work I obviously would. I can't really walk comfortably...just getting in the car is a chore. Getting ready for work is a chore. And carrying my heavy laptop from home to work is a chore.
Earlier this evening it just hit me...I will be having 2 little babies in hand in the near future if all goes right. How did I get here? Me, the work-a-holic will have to leave all behind to take care of them. Don't get me wrong...once on leave I usually leave work behind quite easily. It's just the first few steps that are the hardest. Am I crazy? Or has anyone else felt like this? Is taking the last 2 weeks before your c-section while pregnant with twins completely selfish? Or am I obviously completely out of whack with my perspectives? I always thought maternity leave was a god send...like you are having a baby and it's completely beyond your control as to whether you need to leave or not...but in this case...I just might be able to extend things a little longer? Or would I? This is the risk I would take. Sigh.
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