So for all of you on the edge of your seat on the progesterone thing (God I hope not since it's really not that exciting) the answer my RE gave this morning...was orally. I had her (the nurse) perplexed for a minute when I told her what the pharmacist told me and so she put me on hold and (as I imagine went and asked the primo nurse who knows all - seriously who do they ask when they are double checking something? I doubt the doctor!) double checked. She said that this capsule (and really that is all that it is, a clear capsule with powder in it) can be taken orally or vaginally but they recommend orally so that I don't get bacterial or whatever infections, which I had read happens from time to time. I did read as some of you mentioned that it does in fact help more when taken vaginally although will not show on a blood test. I would have brought this up except that I really don't want to get an infection (had one with first miscarriage) and cause further risk to "said" unborn child so I figured I'd go with what they told me, so that I don't get yelled at later.
So now I'm on progesterone, medr*l, baby aspirin, prenatals and a partridge in a pear tree. (Hell I wish my pear tree had a partridge in it.)
Today I still have tender breasts (have had them for awhile now...like since ovulation) and new that as soon as I started taking the progesterone this would mean nothing since it gives you false pregnancy symptoms. They have I noticed, since yesterday, seem bigger than usual although I doubt myself and at any given time in the comfort of my home can be seen holding my jugs in each hand as if I were weighing melons. I almost want to measure myself from day to day to see if I'm just delusional. But seriously they feel "fuller", puffy if you will. Maybe it's retained water. Who knows. Not saying that I am pregnant but maybe it's the steroids?...although when consulting dr. google, he says that there are really no side effects of taking Medr*l. Hmmm the mystery of the large(r) breasts continues.
Yesterday (DPO 7) I had some consistent cramping pretty much throughout the day (implantation? as if). But today nothing or extremely very little. Maybe a touch tonight after dinner but I'm going to chalk that up to just being gassy. A few twinges tonight but nothing major. Today during the day I pretty much felt perfectly normal and so it made me think that possibly nothing happened this cycle. Egg missed sperm, call it day and pack it up for the month I was thinking. Damn it where did I put that bottle of wine? But no, it's only friggen dpo 8 so I have to sit here until (FF.com says dpo 13 ... my ass) at least dpo 10 to start testing. And drug myself up on all these hormones. (Mr. Sushinut is now referring to me as 'chemically enhanced')
I am so going to laugh/cry if I've taken all this crap for nothing.
I'm now off to measure my breasts and have some chocolate ice cream because lord knows I'm not fat enough already. Seriously if I'm not pregnant this month I'm going on the 3 day diet. I'm tired of this weight. And larger breasts just don't cut it for me anymore.
Sigh...My it's going to be a looooooooong week.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Progesterone Update
All I can say is this day kicked my ass...seriously.
I am so glad that it will be over soon.
So this morning I get up at the crack of dawn because it's 7 days post ovulation or as my RE likes to refer to it 7 days post intercourse... whatever.
So, I need to take my progesterone test. So I haul down to dr. frozen embryo's at the crack of dawn in hopes of getting back to the office at a decent time.
I get in there and after several tries the nurse can't get blood out of me. Hmmm weird, my veins are pretty difficult (especially with the extra fat packed on me these days) but never really a true issue. She then calls in the "expert" of the office (you know they always have one of those) and she can't even find anything. They chalk it up to me being dehydrated since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink yet and that's why my veins aren't popping. Which seems rather odd to me because back in the day prior to ttc I had to go for regular cholesterol checks due to genetic cholesterol issues I have and I would have to fast and not drink anything before my tests...so how did they get the big ol' tubes of blood out of me for that?
Anyhow finally she had to eek it out of me through my vein in the back of my hand. I asked what was the difference and she said less blood and more painful for me. And she kept asking if I was okay. Honestly it didn't hurt any more if at all. Of course I didn't say that...these days I'll take all the sympathy I can.
So now that I've got little pieces of cotton with tape over both arms and one hand, I think...people at the office are never going to believe I was at Physical Therapy (my made up excuse that I've used throughout my infertility testing extravaganza), unless of course I've been shooting up at my P.T.'s office. So I call in to my coordinator to let him know that I've had to "give blood" (general dr. appt. blood) today and am running a little late. And with all the cotton stuck to me, I would assume he had no doubt.
One of my friends did ask if I was leaking by chance when he saw all of my cotton. Ha ha, little do you know I'm sure that's coming down the pike.
And yes I was right...so late in the day I get my test results back.
7
Hell I could have told you that. It was 7 when I had it tested before. So since the office is looking for like 10 (I think 20 would actually be better don't you?) they were going to prescribe me Prometrium. And here my friends is where the fun begins...and no I don't mean the side effects.
So I get the call 10 minutes to 5p, but I'm not in my office by my cell phone, I'm in a weekly monday meeting that as usual runs far too long. My RE's office closes at 5p and the nurse leaves a lengthy message about calling her back before they close (in 10 minutes?) but if I don't get to in time she'll fax in my prescription to the only place she knows that carries it which is, you got it clear across 3 cities right by their office. Well friggen crap I was just there this morning! And here's the clincher...the pharmacy closes at 6:30p.
So I'm sitting at my desk looking at the clock with a horrified expression. It's 5:55p. Fuck! I wonder if I can haul ass out of my office in major rush hour L.A. traffic and get there in time? Would I be able to call them and ask them to stay like my other pharmacy? Would they be that nice? Something told me no. So I decide to risk it and go. I now run out of the office telling my staff that I need to pick up something from a pharmacy that is about to close and will be "right" back. They nod in agreement with bewilderment. Yeah trust me you don't want to know.
Assuming that I might be possibly saving my "possible" unborn child by merely taking this pill tonight rather than in the morning I feel every second counts...I drive like a bat out of hell (as much as one can drive like a bat out of hell in L.A. traffic at 6p on a monday) towards the pharmacy. Meanwhile I'm on my cell checking with them just to make sure they do in fact have the prescription and it would be ready. After a little confusion they assure me yes it's ready.
Long story short I wasn't going to make it. The traffic was way too heavy and I was about 10 minutes away once 6:30p hit so I called them again, begging them to stay open...they said they couldn't but they could put the order through over the phone and then I could knock on the door when I got there and they would hand it to me so could I please give them a credit card. So yup you got it right. Flying like a bat out of hell, talking on the cell phone, while handling a credit card reading my number over the phone to the man on the other line. What a bunch of bastards I tell you...If I didn't get a ticket for this I would certainly have gotten in a truly ugly car accident. Nice thing to ask of a possibly pregnant women eh? Yes by all means risk your life to give us your credit card number. Oh and don't forget the 3 digits in the back of the card mam. Bastards I say.
So it all works out when I get there and they hand me the package. The man stares into my eyes and says "Take 1 daily VAGINALLY" Use finger. Uh okay, I think I know what he means. Hmm that's funny I thought my doctor said to take it orally. Oh well I'll figure it out later. Whatever it takes. I was just happy that the stuff only cost me $20.
And so now I'm driving back to work at 7p at night to finish the work that I left behind, which was a real bummer. Until I started looking up stuff on dr. google when I get home. After hours of research and playing over the nurses message I'm thoroughly confused. Nurse says to take by mouth...bastard pharmacist says to take vaginally. How could could this be? Isn't it plain and simple? Either or???? WTF? By the way...the pharmacist has written absolutely no instructions on the bottle. The pill actually looks like a capsule and it says it contains "powder" in it. It looks like it contains powder too. I weigh my options and wonder which would be more harmful to me if I chose the wrong one? Or should I wait til tomorrow morning call the nurse and then take it? And possibly jeopardize my possible pregnancy (every second counts!...chanting in the background). After by far the most informative information on Stirrup Queen's blog I decide to go with orally, because...1) if you had a choice wouldn't you too? 2) less chance of infection and 3) I heard it knocks you out. And I'm all for a pro-pregnancy sleeping pill whenever I can take it.
And so I took it. And now I'm feeling tired. So either I'll wake up tomorrow and give you an update (I plan on calling the nurse in the morning to straighten this whole mess out) or I'll be dead from incorrectly medicating myself. But rest assured there will be no goop in my girly parts. And if you're dead wouldn't that be nice to not be remembered by?
On that note...more to come...tomorrow. I'm exhausted.
Night.
I am so glad that it will be over soon.
So this morning I get up at the crack of dawn because it's 7 days post ovulation or as my RE likes to refer to it 7 days post intercourse... whatever.
So, I need to take my progesterone test. So I haul down to dr. frozen embryo's at the crack of dawn in hopes of getting back to the office at a decent time.
I get in there and after several tries the nurse can't get blood out of me. Hmmm weird, my veins are pretty difficult (especially with the extra fat packed on me these days) but never really a true issue. She then calls in the "expert" of the office (you know they always have one of those) and she can't even find anything. They chalk it up to me being dehydrated since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink yet and that's why my veins aren't popping. Which seems rather odd to me because back in the day prior to ttc I had to go for regular cholesterol checks due to genetic cholesterol issues I have and I would have to fast and not drink anything before my tests...so how did they get the big ol' tubes of blood out of me for that?
Anyhow finally she had to eek it out of me through my vein in the back of my hand. I asked what was the difference and she said less blood and more painful for me. And she kept asking if I was okay. Honestly it didn't hurt any more if at all. Of course I didn't say that...these days I'll take all the sympathy I can.
So now that I've got little pieces of cotton with tape over both arms and one hand, I think...people at the office are never going to believe I was at Physical Therapy (my made up excuse that I've used throughout my infertility testing extravaganza), unless of course I've been shooting up at my P.T.'s office. So I call in to my coordinator to let him know that I've had to "give blood" (general dr. appt. blood) today and am running a little late. And with all the cotton stuck to me, I would assume he had no doubt.
One of my friends did ask if I was leaking by chance when he saw all of my cotton. Ha ha, little do you know I'm sure that's coming down the pike.
And yes I was right...so late in the day I get my test results back.
7
Hell I could have told you that. It was 7 when I had it tested before. So since the office is looking for like 10 (I think 20 would actually be better don't you?) they were going to prescribe me Prometrium. And here my friends is where the fun begins...and no I don't mean the side effects.
So I get the call 10 minutes to 5p, but I'm not in my office by my cell phone, I'm in a weekly monday meeting that as usual runs far too long. My RE's office closes at 5p and the nurse leaves a lengthy message about calling her back before they close (in 10 minutes?) but if I don't get to in time she'll fax in my prescription to the only place she knows that carries it which is, you got it clear across 3 cities right by their office. Well friggen crap I was just there this morning! And here's the clincher...the pharmacy closes at 6:30p.
So I'm sitting at my desk looking at the clock with a horrified expression. It's 5:55p. Fuck! I wonder if I can haul ass out of my office in major rush hour L.A. traffic and get there in time? Would I be able to call them and ask them to stay like my other pharmacy? Would they be that nice? Something told me no. So I decide to risk it and go. I now run out of the office telling my staff that I need to pick up something from a pharmacy that is about to close and will be "right" back. They nod in agreement with bewilderment. Yeah trust me you don't want to know.
Assuming that I might be possibly saving my "possible" unborn child by merely taking this pill tonight rather than in the morning I feel every second counts...I drive like a bat out of hell (as much as one can drive like a bat out of hell in L.A. traffic at 6p on a monday) towards the pharmacy. Meanwhile I'm on my cell checking with them just to make sure they do in fact have the prescription and it would be ready. After a little confusion they assure me yes it's ready.
Long story short I wasn't going to make it. The traffic was way too heavy and I was about 10 minutes away once 6:30p hit so I called them again, begging them to stay open...they said they couldn't but they could put the order through over the phone and then I could knock on the door when I got there and they would hand it to me so could I please give them a credit card. So yup you got it right. Flying like a bat out of hell, talking on the cell phone, while handling a credit card reading my number over the phone to the man on the other line. What a bunch of bastards I tell you...If I didn't get a ticket for this I would certainly have gotten in a truly ugly car accident. Nice thing to ask of a possibly pregnant women eh? Yes by all means risk your life to give us your credit card number. Oh and don't forget the 3 digits in the back of the card mam. Bastards I say.
So it all works out when I get there and they hand me the package. The man stares into my eyes and says "Take 1 daily VAGINALLY" Use finger. Uh okay, I think I know what he means. Hmm that's funny I thought my doctor said to take it orally. Oh well I'll figure it out later. Whatever it takes. I was just happy that the stuff only cost me $20.
And so now I'm driving back to work at 7p at night to finish the work that I left behind, which was a real bummer. Until I started looking up stuff on dr. google when I get home. After hours of research and playing over the nurses message I'm thoroughly confused. Nurse says to take by mouth...bastard pharmacist says to take vaginally. How could could this be? Isn't it plain and simple? Either or???? WTF? By the way...the pharmacist has written absolutely no instructions on the bottle. The pill actually looks like a capsule and it says it contains "powder" in it. It looks like it contains powder too. I weigh my options and wonder which would be more harmful to me if I chose the wrong one? Or should I wait til tomorrow morning call the nurse and then take it? And possibly jeopardize my possible pregnancy (every second counts!...chanting in the background). After by far the most informative information on Stirrup Queen's blog I decide to go with orally, because...1) if you had a choice wouldn't you too? 2) less chance of infection and 3) I heard it knocks you out. And I'm all for a pro-pregnancy sleeping pill whenever I can take it.
And so I took it. And now I'm feeling tired. So either I'll wake up tomorrow and give you an update (I plan on calling the nurse in the morning to straighten this whole mess out) or I'll be dead from incorrectly medicating myself. But rest assured there will be no goop in my girly parts. And if you're dead wouldn't that be nice to not be remembered by?
On that note...more to come...tomorrow. I'm exhausted.
Night.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Well That Was Weird...
Ever have to discuss your intercourse pattern with a random person at your RE's? Yeah that was weird. I'll try to explain the following conversation the best I can but it's a little confusing...
But I'd love everyone's feedback, that is if you have enough patience to get to the end...
Called this morning to let them know that for sure I ovulated (my temp went up this morning)and that I need to schedule my progesterone and get a prescription for medr*l. Being the newbie that I am I was a little confused by the conversation not to mention that I felt completely strange telling a complete stranger exactly what days I've had intercourse, I can only imagine what the conversation sounded like on the other end to some patient sitting in the waiting room.
Her first question was what day did I ovulate; sounds somewhat simple enough, but as I talked to her further, she seemed to be asking when I received the "peak" sign from my fertility monitor (let the record state this was first seen on Sunday morning and then a second time on Monday morning). As I see it your "peak" day is just a warning that you will be ovulating in the next 12 - 24 hours, although I might be mistaken. I think I read somewhere in my manual that the second peak day is an extra just in case day or it might be the actual day you ovulate but obviously having the sperm waiting there is by all means more productive than trying to catch an egg that is already out there. At least I hope I've learned something in this last year from dr. google.
I would just like to take a second to acknowledge the fact that I've obviously crossed over to the "delusional infertile stage" who ponders these questions of sperm meeting egg to unhealthy proportions. How did I ever get here?
(And we're back...) I personally feel that I ovulated somewhere between Sunday afternoon and Monday before noon. And said sperm was already hanging out ready for said egg. And so intercourse on Saturday and Sunday is perfectly acceptable as prime fertility days right? But then she kept asking if I had intercourse last night, to which I said no (mr. sushinut has been so tired from his job that he flat out put his foot down to 3 nights in a row - I know I should have persisted but to be honest I was tired too - oh the joys of sex on demand). The person at my RE's just paused for quite awhile and repeated..."So you didn't have intercourse last night?" like it was ridiculous that I didn't. Honestly I think by last night it was game over...with the egg and for us as well. Now I'm feeling like I let my RE's office down and that maybe I should have. And maybe, just maybe I incorrectly judged and that I missed the boat, or rather the egg in this happenstance. But doesn't sperm stay alive for at least 24 hours? I feel like such a loser that I have this RE that is doing everything in his power to get me pregnant and that I'm not holding up my own end of the bargain by being a A+ student in the school of sex on demand. But in my mind when I was contemplating this whole thing yesterday and thinking about giving poor mr. sushinut a night off (and trust me I did think about this all day yesterday) it seemed perfectly reasonable that I most likely ovulated sometime during the day on Sunday (I felt major ovulation pain around the afternoon) and that I had intercourse on both Sat. night and Sunday night. I guess at this point there's no reason for crying over 'spilt sex' if you will but nonetheless I am still making myself crazy over this.
Anyways for whatever reason my RE gave specific instructions that I take a progesterone test 7 days after "intercourse" (which time I want to know?) and not necessarily "as soon as I ovulate" (which I thought was strange in itself since ovulation is more of a starting point than random intercourse) and so my progesterone test is scheduled for next monday. And I'm to pick up my perscription of Medr*l today. Now I'm freaking out that I should have started this yesterday but I didn't feel comfortable saying that I ovulated and then my temp doesn't go up and I really didn't. Because you just know that would have happened.
So what does everyone think? Do I have a chance in hell at getting pregnant this month?
Okay I'm going to need to stop now because I'm sounding like a crazy person. Oye. It's like those recipes that you are asked to mix the dry ingredients prior and then slowly mix in the wet. To which I've always failed at and mix everything together all at once. Crap. So basically I suck at cooking...AND fertility. Wonderful.
Last but not least, Just wanted to throw out one last thank you to everyone who piped in with well wishes about my sudden good news about lack of septum and medr*l info as well. I really appreciate it!
Wow if I'm this random in my posts before the steroids I wonder what it will be like after. Lovely.
p.s. If it counts for anything, I've been feeling twingy all morning long. Discuss amongst yourselves.
thanks
But I'd love everyone's feedback, that is if you have enough patience to get to the end...
Called this morning to let them know that for sure I ovulated (my temp went up this morning)and that I need to schedule my progesterone and get a prescription for medr*l. Being the newbie that I am I was a little confused by the conversation not to mention that I felt completely strange telling a complete stranger exactly what days I've had intercourse, I can only imagine what the conversation sounded like on the other end to some patient sitting in the waiting room.
Her first question was what day did I ovulate; sounds somewhat simple enough, but as I talked to her further, she seemed to be asking when I received the "peak" sign from my fertility monitor (let the record state this was first seen on Sunday morning and then a second time on Monday morning). As I see it your "peak" day is just a warning that you will be ovulating in the next 12 - 24 hours, although I might be mistaken. I think I read somewhere in my manual that the second peak day is an extra just in case day or it might be the actual day you ovulate but obviously having the sperm waiting there is by all means more productive than trying to catch an egg that is already out there. At least I hope I've learned something in this last year from dr. google.
I would just like to take a second to acknowledge the fact that I've obviously crossed over to the "delusional infertile stage" who ponders these questions of sperm meeting egg to unhealthy proportions. How did I ever get here?
(And we're back...) I personally feel that I ovulated somewhere between Sunday afternoon and Monday before noon. And said sperm was already hanging out ready for said egg. And so intercourse on Saturday and Sunday is perfectly acceptable as prime fertility days right? But then she kept asking if I had intercourse last night, to which I said no (mr. sushinut has been so tired from his job that he flat out put his foot down to 3 nights in a row - I know I should have persisted but to be honest I was tired too - oh the joys of sex on demand). The person at my RE's just paused for quite awhile and repeated..."So you didn't have intercourse last night?" like it was ridiculous that I didn't. Honestly I think by last night it was game over...with the egg and for us as well. Now I'm feeling like I let my RE's office down and that maybe I should have. And maybe, just maybe I incorrectly judged and that I missed the boat, or rather the egg in this happenstance. But doesn't sperm stay alive for at least 24 hours? I feel like such a loser that I have this RE that is doing everything in his power to get me pregnant and that I'm not holding up my own end of the bargain by being a A+ student in the school of sex on demand. But in my mind when I was contemplating this whole thing yesterday and thinking about giving poor mr. sushinut a night off (and trust me I did think about this all day yesterday) it seemed perfectly reasonable that I most likely ovulated sometime during the day on Sunday (I felt major ovulation pain around the afternoon) and that I had intercourse on both Sat. night and Sunday night. I guess at this point there's no reason for crying over 'spilt sex' if you will but nonetheless I am still making myself crazy over this.
Anyways for whatever reason my RE gave specific instructions that I take a progesterone test 7 days after "intercourse" (which time I want to know?) and not necessarily "as soon as I ovulate" (which I thought was strange in itself since ovulation is more of a starting point than random intercourse) and so my progesterone test is scheduled for next monday. And I'm to pick up my perscription of Medr*l today. Now I'm freaking out that I should have started this yesterday but I didn't feel comfortable saying that I ovulated and then my temp doesn't go up and I really didn't. Because you just know that would have happened.
So what does everyone think? Do I have a chance in hell at getting pregnant this month?
Okay I'm going to need to stop now because I'm sounding like a crazy person. Oye. It's like those recipes that you are asked to mix the dry ingredients prior and then slowly mix in the wet. To which I've always failed at and mix everything together all at once. Crap. So basically I suck at cooking...AND fertility. Wonderful.
Last but not least, Just wanted to throw out one last thank you to everyone who piped in with well wishes about my sudden good news about lack of septum and medr*l info as well. I really appreciate it!
Wow if I'm this random in my posts before the steroids I wonder what it will be like after. Lovely.
p.s. If it counts for anything, I've been feeling twingy all morning long. Discuss amongst yourselves.
thanks
Monday, April 14, 2008
Miracle Number 2 1/2
Okay this just in...
Miracle Number 2.5.
I'm calling it 2.5 because this was miracle #1 and my December pregnancy just days prior to my first miscarriage due date would have been miracle #2...but because it never made it I'm calling it a 1/2 a miracle. And thus making this miracle #2.
Mr. Frozen Embryo just called. At first he said he only read the HSG report from Dr. backup and said that the report said things looked better. What??!!! What happened to Cirque S*lei? Air bubbles and left over tissue and such? But my RE hadn't seen the film yet...so he said that he would check things out and call me back. He just called and said he doesn't see any septum. I'm free and clear. (cue the hark singing angels here) I think he must think I'm a freak because I kept telling him that I saw tissue...on the xray...and is he sure that he's looking at the last xray and not the first? (Uh did I really ask that? Fraid so) Yes, of course he says he's looking at the right xray. I then apologize I'm just being pessimistic. Why he asks? There is no reason. He swears that there is no septum and that what I saw is not of any concern for another miscarriage. He says my ute will never be super smooth but that there's no reason anything should have problems sticking now.
I am to call the office as soon as I ovulate to schedule my post 7 day progesterone test.
And he also wants to put me on Medrol. This is all I've found so far on it... "Medrol: A steroid provided daily for four days during the cycle to assist with pre-embryo implantation."
I asked him if it was a pill or an injection and he says it's a pill. Feewwwwwww. I suck at the injecting thing. Now I can't remember when I'm supposed to start taking this before or after ovulating...sounds like prior to? Or maybe just after?
Anyone know anything else on this?
Oh and also start up my baby aspirin and continue taking prenatals. Yeah that's a total joke...my pharmacy I pick those up from still gives me the "she's been picking up these damn things for a year now and never looks any more pregnant. Fatter maybe but not pregnant. What the hell?"
To which I feel like replying, "yes I know, it's irritating ain't it? You should try it on my end. Just take my friggen $16 and shut your pie hole. A woman can dream can't she?"
Miracle Number 2.5.
I'm calling it 2.5 because this was miracle #1 and my December pregnancy just days prior to my first miscarriage due date would have been miracle #2...but because it never made it I'm calling it a 1/2 a miracle. And thus making this miracle #2.
Mr. Frozen Embryo just called. At first he said he only read the HSG report from Dr. backup and said that the report said things looked better. What??!!! What happened to Cirque S*lei? Air bubbles and left over tissue and such? But my RE hadn't seen the film yet...so he said that he would check things out and call me back. He just called and said he doesn't see any septum. I'm free and clear. (cue the hark singing angels here) I think he must think I'm a freak because I kept telling him that I saw tissue...on the xray...and is he sure that he's looking at the last xray and not the first? (Uh did I really ask that? Fraid so) Yes, of course he says he's looking at the right xray. I then apologize I'm just being pessimistic. Why he asks? There is no reason. He swears that there is no septum and that what I saw is not of any concern for another miscarriage. He says my ute will never be super smooth but that there's no reason anything should have problems sticking now.
I am to call the office as soon as I ovulate to schedule my post 7 day progesterone test.
And he also wants to put me on Medrol. This is all I've found so far on it... "Medrol: A steroid provided daily for four days during the cycle to assist with pre-embryo implantation."
I asked him if it was a pill or an injection and he says it's a pill. Feewwwwwww. I suck at the injecting thing. Now I can't remember when I'm supposed to start taking this before or after ovulating...sounds like prior to? Or maybe just after?
Anyone know anything else on this?
Oh and also start up my baby aspirin and continue taking prenatals. Yeah that's a total joke...my pharmacy I pick those up from still gives me the "she's been picking up these damn things for a year now and never looks any more pregnant. Fatter maybe but not pregnant. What the hell?"
To which I feel like replying, "yes I know, it's irritating ain't it? You should try it on my end. Just take my friggen $16 and shut your pie hole. A woman can dream can't she?"
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Anyone ever....
...begged to have dye shot up their tubes on your birthday just for the fun of it?
Uh yeah, me neither.
Okay yes, yes I did. I did volunteer to have dye shot up my tubes on my birthday. But you can bet I'll never do THAT again. Way to really put a damper on the celebration.
All in all it seemed like a good idea when I first thought of it. But after waiting an hour and a 1/2 to actually get in to see the doc, then finally getting in to see the doc and finding out that the good doc was on vacation and I had mr. back up doc, all did not seem so fabulous. Let's just say this experience was no where nearly as painless or easy as the last HSG. Can't a girl get at least some things to go right on her birthday?
As soon as the catheter went in I found myself asking what the f*ck I was thinking when I signed up for this. Well all would be good when I found out that my ute was crystal clear and septum free right?
...right?
Uh yeah, that apparently wasn't in the cards either.
Yup you heard me. Piece o' Septum still occupying residency. Nice. Really really nice. Like 4k nice to be exact. I mean I really feel happy that my RE didn't puncture my uterus or anything by getting too close but this doesn't cut it either.
So there in all it's glory was what looked like a bit of a cotton ball left. At first they thought it might be a gas bubble...so the doc told me to (and get this, while the catheter is in me, and the dye is in me and my legs are spread eagle with my ankles near my crotch) roll to the side.
I must have looked at him like he was nuts because he just said "I know it's not the easiest thing but you've got to roll to the side for a second" What the hell is this Cirque friggen S*leil? Yeah that was super fun.
Anyways later I find out that the reason for that was because gas bubbles move...so they were trying to see if what they thought were septum remnants were possible gas bubbles...but no such luck. Looks like you still have some tissue in there, they said. Fan freakin tastic.
So I'm still waiting to hear the final word from dr. frozen embryo (as my husband says you never know until you hear from the actual RE) but I know what he's going to say...time for another surgery. And another 4k. This just sucks.
I would have posted about this earlier but I've been drowning my sorrows (err rather celebrating yeah that's it) with lots of sushi and martinis, and I've just come up for air this evening.
The only thing I can come up with to throw a positive spin on this is that at least I have more time to lose my non-pregnancy baby fat before I get pregnant again, and hopefully stay pregnant.
And that my friends is the absolute ONLY positive thing about this setback.
Just lovely.
Uh yeah, me neither.
Okay yes, yes I did. I did volunteer to have dye shot up my tubes on my birthday. But you can bet I'll never do THAT again. Way to really put a damper on the celebration.
All in all it seemed like a good idea when I first thought of it. But after waiting an hour and a 1/2 to actually get in to see the doc, then finally getting in to see the doc and finding out that the good doc was on vacation and I had mr. back up doc, all did not seem so fabulous. Let's just say this experience was no where nearly as painless or easy as the last HSG. Can't a girl get at least some things to go right on her birthday?
As soon as the catheter went in I found myself asking what the f*ck I was thinking when I signed up for this. Well all would be good when I found out that my ute was crystal clear and septum free right?
...right?
Uh yeah, that apparently wasn't in the cards either.
Yup you heard me. Piece o' Septum still occupying residency. Nice. Really really nice. Like 4k nice to be exact. I mean I really feel happy that my RE didn't puncture my uterus or anything by getting too close but this doesn't cut it either.
So there in all it's glory was what looked like a bit of a cotton ball left. At first they thought it might be a gas bubble...so the doc told me to (and get this, while the catheter is in me, and the dye is in me and my legs are spread eagle with my ankles near my crotch) roll to the side.
I must have looked at him like he was nuts because he just said "I know it's not the easiest thing but you've got to roll to the side for a second" What the hell is this Cirque friggen S*leil? Yeah that was super fun.
Anyways later I find out that the reason for that was because gas bubbles move...so they were trying to see if what they thought were septum remnants were possible gas bubbles...but no such luck. Looks like you still have some tissue in there, they said. Fan freakin tastic.
So I'm still waiting to hear the final word from dr. frozen embryo (as my husband says you never know until you hear from the actual RE) but I know what he's going to say...time for another surgery. And another 4k. This just sucks.
I would have posted about this earlier but I've been drowning my sorrows (err rather celebrating yeah that's it) with lots of sushi and martinis, and I've just come up for air this evening.
The only thing I can come up with to throw a positive spin on this is that at least I have more time to lose my non-pregnancy baby fat before I get pregnant again, and hopefully stay pregnant.
And that my friends is the absolute ONLY positive thing about this setback.
Just lovely.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Cycle Day 1
So here we are (thanking AF for at least showing up on time this month) AF just arrived yesterday. Meaning that most likely I will have my second and hopefully last HSG on my birthday this Thursday. Whoohoo!
I would stick around longer to post random thoughts but for whatever reason this cycle is really hitting hard with the "amount" and terrible cramps. Did anyone have a far heavier flow after their hysteroscopy? I read only one mention on dr. google but couldn't find anything else. This by far is heavier than my usual. Hmmm wonder why.
And so now I need to go down about a million IBprofin caplets...ugh.
I would stick around longer to post random thoughts but for whatever reason this cycle is really hitting hard with the "amount" and terrible cramps. Did anyone have a far heavier flow after their hysteroscopy? I read only one mention on dr. google but couldn't find anything else. This by far is heavier than my usual. Hmmm wonder why.
And so now I need to go down about a million IBprofin caplets...ugh.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh and ANOTHER thing...
Thanks so much for all your wonderfully supportive comments on the mother post. It's actually been sitting in my drafts folder for over a week and after I finally posted it, I thought twice...They are going to think I'm evil, I thought. What type of daughter am I? Aren't you supposed to respect your mother no matter what she's like? But I'm glad I did post because it did make me feel more honest and although I'm sad to see that there are so many other mothers out there like mine I hope my thoughts relieved some stress for others.
I did forget one thing to mention that I wanted to come back and post on.
I don't know how I failed to write about this but she did actually have one comment after moments of silence while we finished up our BBQ pork, when all was said and done...
She said and I quote, "You should have gotten a second opinion. What if nothing was wrong and now he's (meaning my RE) ruined you forever?".
OH NO SHE DI'INT!
oh but yes she did....
yup, she deserved that post alrighty.
Thank you G for commenting how you've also wondered what effects smoking has on an unborn fetus. I guess you never know...I would certainly love if someone did a study on that one...meaning common occurrences between women with septums that had moms who smoked. All that I've been able to find on the topic is that it's been shown that a higher level of irritability throughout the child's life has been found in offspring of mothers who smoked during pregnancy.
Go figure...I always just thought it was my charming bitterness with the world. I knew there was something I could blame her for :)
****************************************************
On another more positive topic...
For anyone who's completely confused where I am on the plan, I am just "testing" the ol utes this cycle and am not trying at all. As a matter of fact I think I was forbidden intercourse whatsoever due to my hysteroscopy during my happy "O" time.
I'm currently on cycle day 25. Ff.com says I ovulated on day 16 (which has been a trend) and so I concur. I'm hoping that I at can make it to a 12 day luteal phase so that I don't have to start worrying about that mess...and go on to start my new cycle on day 29 making for a perfect 28 day cycle this round. Meaning that my HSG may just be scheduled on my birthday next Thursday. Joy.
Dear everyone,
Please no gifts this year, all I want is a nice cup o' dye shot up my tubes. What else would a 37 year old need after all?
ugh.
P.S. oh and I should add that i just figured out today that if all were right in the world I would have a 4 month old about now (from my first pregnancy)...or be about 4 months along with my second. Double Joy.
I did forget one thing to mention that I wanted to come back and post on.
I don't know how I failed to write about this but she did actually have one comment after moments of silence while we finished up our BBQ pork, when all was said and done...
She said and I quote, "You should have gotten a second opinion. What if nothing was wrong and now he's (meaning my RE) ruined you forever?".
OH NO SHE DI'INT!
oh but yes she did....
yup, she deserved that post alrighty.
Thank you G for commenting how you've also wondered what effects smoking has on an unborn fetus. I guess you never know...I would certainly love if someone did a study on that one...meaning common occurrences between women with septums that had moms who smoked. All that I've been able to find on the topic is that it's been shown that a higher level of irritability throughout the child's life has been found in offspring of mothers who smoked during pregnancy.
Go figure...I always just thought it was my charming bitterness with the world. I knew there was something I could blame her for :)
****************************************************
On another more positive topic...
For anyone who's completely confused where I am on the plan, I am just "testing" the ol utes this cycle and am not trying at all. As a matter of fact I think I was forbidden intercourse whatsoever due to my hysteroscopy during my happy "O" time.
I'm currently on cycle day 25. Ff.com says I ovulated on day 16 (which has been a trend) and so I concur. I'm hoping that I at can make it to a 12 day luteal phase so that I don't have to start worrying about that mess...and go on to start my new cycle on day 29 making for a perfect 28 day cycle this round. Meaning that my HSG may just be scheduled on my birthday next Thursday. Joy.
Dear everyone,
Please no gifts this year, all I want is a nice cup o' dye shot up my tubes. What else would a 37 year old need after all?
ugh.
P.S. oh and I should add that i just figured out today that if all were right in the world I would have a 4 month old about now (from my first pregnancy)...or be about 4 months along with my second. Double Joy.
Hmmm, did I say positive topic? Oh well.
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