I think I'll start keeping track of my cycles in terms of how I titled my journal today. Should be interesting how long this charade is going to take.
I don't think I need to spell it out...but AF came late last night. I really can't believe it. I seriously thought I felt implantation pains and had a touch of spotting last week. What happened? I know I ovulated...the damn pee stick said so. I still have the disgusting things sitting in a box for me to compare. What the freakin hell? I know I heard before that for whatever reason it does happen that you can ovulate...have sex at the perfect time...have conception and then for whatever reason the implantation never takes. So my question to God is...WHY NOT?!!!! I mean if everything else happens for a reason why doesn't this????? And noooooooo one knows. Well on behalf of the rest of the infertile or even fertile population out there I demand an answer. Someone is slacking somewhere and it's not on my side.
Anyways each month I go thru this I plan on adding one more tool to my belt. This time I'm adding the basal thermometer. I'm not sure how this will help me more than the ovulation tests but as they say, "everyone else is doing it" so why not. If anything it will make me more compulsive to do something. I mean once I'm in the 2week wait I can torture myself with testing...before that ovulation testing...I need something to do in between the two. Taking my temp every morning at a god forsaken hour seems fun enough. Why not.
Another note is that I'm down to a 28 day cycle. For crying out loud? What the hell? I started with a 36 day cycle immediately following the D&C. (which I hear is normal to be fairly long) Next cycle was exactly 30 days. Then next 29 days. This one is 28. It should be really interesting if we stop here of go further. It's nice to know that all the facts point to "normal female cycle" yet .... ummm still no freaking pregnancy!!!! So I'm on to the why nots now. My first task is to cut the wait. I'm tired of waiting to get pregnant so that I can get thru it and finally have a baby and then get the weight down. I'm going to take advantage of this lag time if it kills me...and considering the fact that all of my closets are organized to a compulsive addicts level and books are organized and house is spic and span (short of painting - which I also plan to do this week) there's not much more to do to pass the time. So dieting it is. My goal is for each month that goes by without pregnancy is to lose 10 pounds. Let's see which happens first...me wasting away to Nicole Richie size or a viable pregnancy. Should be interesting.
We are getting closer and closer to the Dec. due date of the last baby and I'm really trying to do everything possible to keep it together. My hope is to get pregnant before then to keep my mind off the obvious. But somehow this isn't going as planned.
Here's to a July baby. May October be my month.
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2 comments:
Hi, you don't know me, but I came across your blog and was struck by the parallels to my life.
We had D&C in April of 2006 after my pregnancy failed to progress past 8 weeks. It's a pain that only those who have been there can relate to, I know...
It took us 11 actively "trying" cycles to get pregnant again, but it was a total of 15 months later.
In that 15 months, i became somewhat of a trying to conceive guru. Basal body temperature recording (temping) is a definite HELP for this fight. I did it for 7 of the 11 cycles and it's amazing what knowing the exact date of ovulation will do for your accuracy in sex timing.
That being said, it will take up to a year for some perfectly healthy couples to conceive (and that is considered normal) Hell, it took us 11 cycles, so we were damn close to a year. So even with perfectly timed sex, it's still only a 20% chance that everything will come together perfectly.
So much for mom's theory that you have sex once as as teen and BOOM you're pregnant.
Hang in there and try and stay positive. It will happen again for you and this time things will work out.
Good luck and excuse the momentary intrusion of a stranger.
Hey thanks for stopping by! It's always nice to know about people who have gone thru the same thing. I guess logically I do realize that it could probably take that long...but since I'm only at (what month 3?)it's so much harder, especailly for an extremely impatient person like me. I have a friend that this happened to as well and it took her 9 months. It's amazing there are still people in the world I say...who has the time or energy.
Anyways I plan to start temping this cycle. So we'll see how that goes. Thanks for stopping by.
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