Thank you truly for all your wonderful comments. It really brought tears to my eyes. I know so many of you know what I'm going through. I haven't gone in yet for the beta. I secretly plotted to go in on my lunch break instead of first thing in the a.m. so that there would be more time for doubling (pathetic huh?). But now I'm wondering if I still will get my results back by 4p like I do if I go in, in the a.m. Damn.
This is a test I took yesterday morning. I had hoped to see if the line was darker and didn't realize it was a digital until I peed on it. I thought it ironic though that it was proof that I needed to keep going for the day. I had a little hope yesterday, thinking about a woman online I read about that had a beta of 43 at 22dpo with twins(!). But this morning when I tried again on yet another hpt and received the same light line (possibly even less - but then again I'm not using the same brand as the first time) I just fell apart. It's a good think that I'm not going in this morning because it's wouldn't be pretty that's for sure.
If I count last month's debacle, this will be my 4th loss. How the hell did I get here? I remember hearing a woman on t.v. say how she had 7 miscarriages, and thinking holy crap woman don't you know when to give up? But the truth is that you keep on going and hoping and they can add up quickly. Sort of like credit card debt. The bottom line is that obviously I don't plan on stopping at this one and this could be me just months from now. Honestly I just don't know how IUI is going to help this issue.
I'll post again when I get the results...it was nice to be pregnant, even just for a day.
5 comments:
Hey, girl, don't count this as a loss yet! Those sticks are always all over the place!
Still anxiously keeping all fingers and toes crossed for a fabulous 2nd beta. Sending lots of hope.
Babe, sticks are sooo not meant to be comparative (even though everyone uses them that way), especially across brands. And aren't the digitals supposed to be less sensitive than the sticks, such that they'd require more hCG to register a positive?
I'm with Newt -- it ain't a loss yet. All I've got is crossed for you.
OMG! I have been away from a computer for a few days and just checked in! I don't know what to say and am so anxious to see your second beta results. I'm sorry you have to have such a freaking roller coaster, and I know it is hard. We are hoping for you...so much!
I am thinking about you and will continue to wonder how you are holding up when I am in Mexico for a week.
I hate that we have entered a place where positive HPT does not always mean you are bringing a yummy little newborn home in 9 months.....
Hang in there. You may just be surprised!
I am sure you know the results of the beta by now, but I really hope it goes well. I am pulling for you!
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