Because that's what I really feel like doing...just warp speeding into the future to know when the hell I'll be pregnant again. Although this is only my 2nd month trying (well 8th if you count the other times before the other pregnancies) it's going so friggen slow.
So here's where I'm at right now.
So far I've really felt nothing. Seriously, nothing...zip...zero. Not even the twingy twinges that I've felt before. Every so often my breasts will be lightly sensitive but that's most likely due to the prometri*m. I get cramps on occasion but again I don't know if it's a pregnancy, implantation or just the drugs I'm on. This medicated hormone thing sucks....how's a girl supposed to obsess logically for crying out loud?
My temps have been up but not crazy up like they usually are when I get pregnant. And at 9do I have yet to see any type of dip. I guess I had a slight spike but like I said not even close to what it usually is.
And because of this I've been so friggen irritated. Yesterday I blamed mr. sushi nut for ruining my 3 day weekend. Long story. Which brings me to the tears situation. Over the weekend I had more breakdowns than I can count. What the hell? What's with the water works and sensitivity issues. Let me guess? Another gift of progesterone?
Not to mention I think my body is taking things into it's own hands and has me on this crazy meat kick. I actually sat down and had a whole steak this weekend. I insisted mr. sushinut make it for me. Oh and then by the way yelled at him for cooking it too long. WTF? I can't tell you when the last time I ate a whole steak. I rarely eat beef at all. Maybe meat like 3 times a week...tops. And today, I couldn't wait to have a hamburger for lunch. I've come to the conclusion that my body realizes that I've been taking aspirin again and will lose my body weight in blood again no doubt, and is trying to get in as much nutrients now.
And then this morning I see it...one drop of light red blood on tissue. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I think. I never spot in the middle of a cycle...I only spot when I'm pregnant...and LOSING the child. This is rather early...hmmm...and could it be coincidence around implantation time? Yeah right.
I can't believe it but now it's gotten to me and the naive hopefulness that will no doubt come crashing down by 13dpo has set in. Damn, damn, damn.
Only 5 more days to go until this is over.
Hmmm I think I'll eat a bunch of rib eye while I wait...
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4 comments:
I truly wish I had a time machine to offer you. As for the spotting, I'd say that for the next four days you should consider it implantation spotting and let hope carry you through, but I know that a) forced hope is hard as hell to maintain and b) it is a lot more painful to fall from hope than it is to fall from the lack thereof. So, until you know one way or the other, I'll try holding on to some hope for you.
Goodness, the meat cravings sure sound positive, if maybe in a Rosemary's Baby sort of way. Sending lots of luck!
I hope that the bleeding is nothing.
What I have learned is that all pregnancies are different even in the same woman. Maybe, just maybe this cycle is working out. I'll be crossing my fingers for you.
Oh God, I hope, hope, hope that is implantation bleeding!!!!!!! When or are you going to test? Sorry, I couldn't help but ask. I'm really hoping that steak envy is a craving....
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