First off thanks so much Meg for your comment. I wish we could go for a celebratory smoothie as well! Well I can always post a recipe in here and we can enjoy our smoothies together yet separately! :)
So Day 2 of knowing I'm PG and the whole idea of not going into freakazoid worrying crazy woman mode didn't quite stick.
Between yesterday and today I've called my doctor a total of 5 times. Yup more than twice a day.
1) To demand I have my progesterone as my doctor told me to. NOW.
2) To ask them to call Cig.na so that I don't have to pay $200 for my progesterone.
3) To make an appt. for my first visit since I forgot to, while demanding my progesterone. Duh.
4) To demand why they didn't call Cig.na so that I wouldn't have to pay out of pocket for my progesterone (to which they they said did but said Cig.na was lying and said they didn't).
5) To ask if I can fly a short distance to Nevada next week (at 5 weeks) and to check again that the earliest I should be seen is at about 7 weeks even though I've had a miscarriage before. (the answer was yes).
Not to mention I've had 4 freakouts so far....
Freak out #1: Reading about the possible birth defects due to the progesterone. I mean I knew about these way before but as my doctor says a cleft palette is fixable...a miscarriage isn't. And what I've found is that the FDA actually makes all progesterones have a generic warning of these birth defects on every type...although it's only the man made progesterone like what is found in birth control that can cause these defects...the natural progesterone which is what I have been prescribed is said not to. That was a good hour our two worrying. Bottom line... if it's going to keep me pregnant than i'm up for it! I feel it's an important part of a healthy pregnancy for me and so does my doctor.
Freak out #2: Was today when all of a sudden I decided to check to see (just for the fun of it) what was said on the Internet about flying during 1st trimester. Of course I found all the scary stuff like it causes miscarriages etc. I mean I will be 5 whole weeks next week when I take my itty bitty flight of 2 hours up to see my dad...if I didn't test yet I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant and wouldn't have checked! But nonetheless I freaked while at work today and alas called my doctor's office once again. After checking, the office told me to not worry, unless I start spotting before then it's completely fine to fly for that short amount of time. BUT WAIT... I had a miscarriage before...does this change things? Checks again...NO...perfectly fine...just call us immediately if you have spotting. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww. Now I can just agonize whether I'm going to take my progesterone as carry on or checked. I can just picture them confiscating my little tubes and me yelling..."That's the life of my child in there! Take it from me and die minion!!!" I think just to be safe I'm going to carry some on and pack some...but if they take it I swear I'm suing south.west for $200....Unless of course cig.na ever gets back to me.
Freak out #3: Tonight...when (just for the fun of it - I really need to stop trying to have "fun") I decide to use some crappy ass pregnancy test that my husband got from one of his medical offices to see how dark my line is getting. To my horror it was actually more faint!!!! Now, keep in mind, it's a totally different test, with probably a totally different sensitivity level, but none-the-less a break down ensued. Oh and also I noted the expiration date was Sept. '07. NICE. Despite this, I promptly hauled ass to Rite.aid so that I can by the same exact hpt I took yesterday and compare the two. I know that according to peeonastick.com the comparison of lines should not be done and yada yada...but it totally freaked me out. I have somewhat mellowed since earlier tonight and have decided not to take the test until tomorrow morning. Since that's when you are supposed to take hpts...not at night after a days worth of liquids. Joy.
As you can see this will not be an easy journey for me...or for any of you reading this blog for that matter. You didn't know me during my first pregnancy...I started this blog right after my miscarriage. But let me forewarn you...you'll seriously want to slap me around sometimes...and at other times laugh at me....but hey it's my world and this is the hell my brain puts me through at times. So at least be happy that you're in blog land and not in my head...like I am! :)
Oh yes...and one more
Freak out #4: after freaking out about being "less" pregnant. I felt a pain on my left ovary...to which I promptly started reviewing my ectopic pregnancy websites. Sigh. The pain is gone now...and so I finally have a few minutes to do my blog. Sorry I didn't post earlier today but as you can see...I was quite busy thinking of every possible issue that could go wrong. May I remind you this is only day 2.
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2 comments:
I think the freakouts are totally normal -- I fully expect to have some of my own when/if the time comes. I hope amidst the (totally normal) panic you are taking the time to enjoy these early days!
I think it's wise to check some progesterone and carry some on -- definitely the safest plan.
And every twinge I felt near an ovary when I was pregnant, I was sure was a sign of an ectopic. So you're not alone on that one.
So, is it day 3 yet?
I had plenty of freakouts of my own, try to relax and not look up everything on the internet. I know that is easier said than done.
Everyone worries when they are prenant whether they had a miscarriage or not. Chances are that you will not miscarry again. Just enjoy every moment. I'm praying for you!
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