100 Days

All through pregnancy I was told by my twins club as well as the nurses in my baby classes to count 100 days from the day of birth and mark a big fat "X" on our calendar. Starting from this date of 100 days the whole baby experience was supposed to get a lot easier. So one day I counted and wouldn't you know it our 100 days landed on 4th of July! A celebration of Independence from my needy new nuggets and the country?! How coincidental!

Well this last weekend on the 4th we celebrated 100 days of the nuggets with close friends and family. It was truly a great time. I'm not going to lie, everyone thought I was nuts for wanting to host a park bbq picnic with twins in tow. Including my husband. But luckily for me he knows better to argue :)

Overall I was exhausted at the end but am so happy I did this. We even went around to everyone with a video camera and asked them to offer life advice to the nugs past 100 days. The advice ranged from sage advice of grandma "to always love each other and never fight" to comical advice from grandpa of "If you love a girl 'boy nugget" the way to her heart is a good restaurant."

So has these post 100 days been any easier? Well, mr. sushinut and I definitely feel it is much easier than the first 30 days but I'm not sure if we've hit full on "walk in the park" status quite yet, let's say.

Everyday I see them I am awed by their existence despite the taxing effort of them both I can't believe how lucky I am to have them here with me. The month of July also marks an important anniversary for me, being the first successful month of pregnancy. It was just a year ago around this time that I successfully became pregnant with the little nuggets and I will always look back fondly on this time. Of course at that time my mind was racing with doubt and anxiety but I had come a long way and as we all do, I hung on to hope. And this time hope came through.

And so how are the nuggets doing now? Well both are smiling up a storm which completely melts our hearts. Especially in the morning they are so incredibly happy. We call it "morning smiles" and if you get up to late you just might miss them! They are both starting to "talk" more. And Girl Nugget has officially found her grasp on things. They are both eager to sit up, "pretend walk" and "pretend stand" with our assistance. I did finally get them into our day care of choice and am so happy I have them there despite the expense. We have been transitioning them about 3 days a week for a few hours a day and they are doing wonderfully. Not to mention I'm enjoying the time catching up on my errands...and hope to one day soon use this time to catch up on sleep!

They STILL do not sleep through the night and get up at least for two feedings. But I have high hopes that this will soon diminish. Or at least I hope it will once I start work in August. But for now I'm just enjoying these early days of smiles and giggles from them and trying to take in every little baby breath. I am truly a lucky individual.

10 Weeks Already!?

(Umm did I not post this? Just found it in my Edit Posts pile...oops!)

Holy moly, has it really been 10 weeks since I had my little nuggets. Can't believe it. Well what can I update?

About the reflux and gas I think we are slowly getting there. The reflux was greatly reduced by starting them on the Enfamil AR formula at night time feedings. Still dealing with a lot of gas issues during the day when I put them on the Gentle Ease but I've now been bold enough to go back to the Neutramagin. They don't seem to hate the taste like they used to a few weeks back. After speaking to a friend of mine who had a preemie and said that formula saved her life, I've decided to go back to it for a week. Mr. Sushinut is not so happy since that's the most expensive formula. He tends to be in denial of their gas issues and thinks it's just babies being babies. I refuse and plot night and day how I can combat the gas fussiness.

As for the sleeping. Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I really think it's like a recipe...a little of this and a little of that. First off I am attempting to do more cluster feeding that is when I'm home for the shift right before bed. Although they are still getting up between 2.5 - 4 hours at a time. Four hours is great...but it doesn't seem to be a consistent number. AND!...You'll never guess what sushi nugget girl did just a week ago? Slept 8 hours straight! I couldn't believe it and checked on her every 3 hours just to make sure she was okay, since sushi boy nugget was still getting up for his feeding that often anyhow. On occasion I've gone ahead and tried to just insert his pacifier again in hopes he fall back to sleep but so far it only buys me but a 1/2 hour more. I've also tried to wake the other from their sleep to feed at the same time but usually they are in such a deep sleep that they just lay there like a limp banana peel. So I guess I can cross those two attempts off my list. But with the AR formula it's at least pure bliss in putting them back down. They wake up crying for their feeding...feed...and then after a quick burp or back in their bassinets to sleep. Now only if they would get up at the same time. Sigh.

As for me getting more sleep I have looked into what everyone suggested and hired myself (or plan to a small army). 1) Nanny: I've hired this great young nanny who sits for many of the families in my twins club and comes highly recommended. Although a little pricey she's well worth it. Also she's completely booked during the day so I could only get her on Thursday nights and Saturdays. Also my MIL will be available soon because she is off from teaching for the summer. Again this is questionable how much help she is but I've found that she could be helpful in helping me take the nuggets to doctor appts. as we are doing tomorrow. That and another college mother's helper who I plan to hire as soon as she gets back from college, who happens to be a niece of another mom from my twins club and has also multiples experience helping her aunt and her twins. I've already booked her for a few hours every Wednesday. Then there is day care. I never really considered starting them in day care early but due to some openings I just might. Believe it or not I still haven't locked in a day care for them and I want them to start at the end of July, since I go back to work at the beginning of August. Eeek!

The problem being that I'm holding out for this amazing daycare that I went to visit not too long ago. This was the only one I found that I loved EVERYTHING about. Only issue...they have a waiting list. Well looks like they might have some openings at the end of June/beginning of July but that's sooner than I wanted to send them. But then I started thinking...what if I just send them a couple of days a week for just a few hours to get them warmed up to the idea? And so that I maybe can get some sleep in? So I'm still waiting to hear back if I'll get the two spaces or not...every day I call and every day the director tells me to call back. I can't take the suspense!

Happy Mother's Day!...and 6 Weeks Nuggets!

First off Happy Mother's Day to all those new infertiles who happen to be celebrating their very first Mother's Day like me. Is it as weird for you as it is for me? I still feel like this is a bizarre dream. And of course to all others out there in our blog land whether you are a first time mom or second time etc. or still trying and will be one some day! It was just a year ago this month that I was mourning yet my 3rd miscarriage and I can't believe this day has finally come.

So today I had the very best gift ever. Mr. Sushinut gave me 9 blissful hours of sleep from 1a to 10a! Pure heaven! Then we packed up the nuggets and went to a great lunch at our favorite Chinese restaurant with the family. I received many bouquets of flowers. Great cute cards (one of which included 1 free night of babysitting from my brother and sister in law - whooohoo!) and an awesome blender/food processor from the nuggets in exceptionally beautiful department store gift wrap (I assume that was the girl nuggets doing since I expect her to be a shopper like me). Oh and I forgot too, finally a wonderful back massage from mr. sushinut while I lay on my stomach (it's been forever since I could do that due to the pregnancy).

Thank you so much for your great advice for my sleepless nights (and days). My favorite comment of all was from "She" who talked about sending her son to college in a great big car seat. That cracked me up! I have been using the car seats and it does help, especially with girl nugget since she has the reflux a little worse than her brother. I just feel so bad that they sleep in their car seats instead of their cozy little bassinets sometimes but as mr. sushinut points out it's for a purpose...not like I'm too lazy and just keep them in their seats after a day of shopping or something.

Ironically after I posted, they started sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time at night. I think it was due to 2 reasons. One being that on that day they seemed especially hungry during the day (at one point it seemed like they were eating almost every hour!) So I was like "okay, you nuggets are on!" "I can feed you into you pop if you'd like". And so I did. I think they were so full by night time they didn't need to eat as much. Also I started using that Enfamil AR formula at night. It did help the reflux and it seemed to keep them satisfied for longer. Although mr. sushinut thinks it's just a coincidence. So I didn't pick up any more and tonight I'm going with just the regular gentle ease formula and low and behold they only are sleeping for 2.5 hours a stretch again. I don't care what mr. sushinut says...I'm hauling butt to Target and buying more of that AR formula again. I know it probably isn't as good for the gas issues but it works for the reflux and I think using it only at night will solve any issues with constipation (since I was warned that this could happen) which might occur by using it all the time.

If you're wondering what happened to good ol' breast feeding, like some new twins moms I've basically thrown in the towel too. It saddens me that I couldn't breast feed them exclusively but there's only so much time in the day. And with my mother in law not being the support we originally anticipated it just made it too difficult. Right now I am pumping about 2x per day (and get very little from each pumping) and sometimes will breast feed boy nugget in addition to his formula. Girl nugget is clueless on how to breast feed nor has the patience.

I haven't asked the dr. yet for any medication for them because I wouldn't say it's terrible terrible like I've heard other babies have it and so I don't want to be quick to jump to the meds just yet. But if it continues to be a problem or gets worse I will need to.

I have inclined their bassinet mattresses a bit and by doing so girl nugget tends to roll to the side and either ram her face into the side of the batting, causing me to freak out about sids or to scare the crap out of her and have her suddenly wail. I think I've rectified this by rolling two blankets by each side of her to lock her in. Hopefully this will work.

As for the night nurse, boy would we absolutely love that. Unfortunately they are way too expensive not to mention it sort of freaks me out to have someone in our house at night while we sleep and watching them. I know...if I were really tired I wouldn't care right? I'm just afraid I'd be to worried that I wouldn't sleep anyways.

But I am checking into a nanny that is looking for some evening and weekend hours. She was referred to me by someone in my twins club. So hopefully that will work out and I can have some hours to myself here and there.

I have some great mother's day photos and new photos of the Nugs but my shift to 4a is now over and the hell if I'm going to take precious sleep time to find my camera and upload those puppies. So you'll have to tune in again to see the pics. :) Stay tuned!

Week 5 ... Are We There Yet? (insert whine here)

...or you could insert "wine" too. I definitely need a drink.

I think it's week 5...could be week 6 but I think that's just wishful thinking.

Here's where I am now. Mr. Sushinut has returned to work at least 4 days a week. Three weekdays and Saturdays. When he does work I do all the night feedings because he is a doctor and does surgeries and such that could cause great pain or malpractice suits if he messes up on someone. And therefore I insist that I take one for the team and stay up for all night feedings.

I AM SO FRIGGEN TIRED.

Please, please, please God...make these kids sleep for more than 2.5 hours straight soon! I can't take this much longer. I was going to ask my pediatrician if there was anything I could do to umm...speed up this process but was to chicken, less I be reprimanded for selfishly wanting to sleep in exchange for my children's healthy growth. Okay okay I get it...at this age they need food...like every friggen five minutes. But couldn't God have made it so they could at least hold their own bottle by now? I know they are only 5 weeks old (and 3 weeks early to boot) but it feels like it's been FOREVER since I gave birth. I feel like I should be taking them to the DMV for their Driver's License already for Christ's sake. Not to mention my greatest fear has come true. It seems that both nuggets have been blessed with major gas issues and reflux. Shoot me now.

We've tried 3 different formulas and are now just using the one that causes the least amount of grief...yet still grief. I did slyly ask the doc about putting rice cereal in their formula at night (you know to get them to sleep longer - blaming it on my mother and mother in law that insists is what you are supposed to do to get them to sleep longer...and what happened? Totally shot down. I didn't even believe her so I went to dr. google and he said the same thing...NOT BEFORE 4 MONTHS. Crap, crap, crap. So I'm on to that formula Enfamil AR business now. Wish me luck. Mr. sushinut has suggested we go for the ol' shot of Bourbon if something doesn't give soon. Feel free to offer magical life saving advice.

Happy Due Date Day Nuggets!

This should be actually back dated to this last Saturday but who has the time with twins? I was thinking of them on that day and told them happy due date day :) So at least that's something :)

Dear Nuggets,
April 18th was your official due date and although we evicted you 3 weeks early you seem to be doing just fine. At 3 weeks old you already look so big to me and far from your little selves that I remember in the hospital during "Baby Bootcamp". How fast you are growing up already! I relish the late night shifts I have with you so that I can stare into your eyes and kiss your foreheads and sing you what limited lullaby songs I know (so far). You are just what I expected and more..and I love you more and more every minute that goes by.

Hugs and kisses,
Mommy

And then there were 4...

Seriously...I swear I've started and added to this post for a week now... Will there ever be time again?

Ah a few quite moments to update my lonely blog...let's see if I can actually have time to get through a post.

So, what's it like now with the nuggets and being a family of 4...you might wonder? Well it's hard. It's amazing. It often brings me to tears (good tears that is) when I remember back to all that I've gone through to get to this point. And believe me I've been thinking more and more of my journey here, especially during these late night hours. I've always told myself that even in the latest of late hours, staying up and rocking a nugget to sleep in hopes to get a few moments of sleep myself I would never forget the road here. And I can honestly say I've kept my promise. I am forever grateful that things worked out and I have these wonderful little beings. I still can't believe they're actually here when I stare at their little faces, hands and feet.

But let's move past that sappiness for a second shall we? So...some might be wondering...what's it really like with two nuggets and an instant family of 4? Well I think I've been just trying to take it day by day, week by week. So I'll give a little update right now. (The birth story is in the works - hopefully I can post it before they go to college).

Week 1: The delivery
More detail on this later. But basically mr. sushinut and I affectionately refer to this time as baby boot camp. Being in a small private hospital room with 2 newborns and a husband plus the constant medical and visitor interruption seriously tested our patience. But nevertheless we survived and flourished. The little nuggets unfortunately were tested positive with Jaundice so at about day 2 we had to toss breast feeding out the window at least for the time being in order to flush out their systems as quickly as possible, meaning bring in the formula. I think I'm still paying for that since I have very limited milk supply but the important thing here is that we did get the jaundice down and they went home nice and healthy. The first couple of days were super painful as I tried to recover from my ginormous uterus trying to push itself back into it's pie-hole original location plus dealing with pain from the incision area but I trudged through and with the help of meds (never say no to the meds) was able to help out a little more by day 3 at the hospital. Poor mr. sushinut did an amazing job taking care of both nuggets on his own with limited help from the nurses those first few days...and continues to prove to be super dad :) Finally when we were released on day 4 from the hospital, me feeling better with my recovery and the nuggets on their way to being jaundice free, we were never happier to head to home sweet home.

Week 2: The nuggets snuggle into their new home.
This week wasn't quite as bad as "baby bootcamp" but mr. sushinut and I were still getting through the kinks. Luckily my mother in law decided to stay with us this week. Unfortunately she turned out to have not as much stamina as she promised to. Or should I say hoped to. She slept through each night feeding and basically tends to be there to just hold babies rather than helping out throughout the house. Not to mention she doesn't seem to do dishes, pick up after herself or know the use of a coaster. Seriously I'm not that much of a control neat freak but seriously? Help people...do not hinder? Not that I'm really complaining. Any help is better than none. But I find it ironic how people tend to promise the world and not be realistic as to what they are capable of doing. Never-the-less mr. sushinut and I fall into a pattern of me taking the 10p - 4a shift and him taking the 4a - 10a shift. Six hours of sleep? Not too shabby for new born twins! At the same time though I am dealing with the negative post trauma of pregnancy on my body. Still re-cooperating from the surgery the pain is not so bad anymore, but I've some how managed to gain a ginormous amount of bloat in my ankles and feet (which even during pregnancy I didn't have) causing a severe case of franken foot. Not to mention during this second week I some how managed to pick up some eye infection at the hospital causing me to only wear my glasses and have a big red crusty eye to boot. Not the most elegant state I've been in I must admit.

Week 3:

Week 3 is much better with me some how conquering the old "how to feed to screaming hungry babies at one time - guess that plan of getting them on the same schedule was ideal in hind sight except when they actually are on the same schedule and you're all alone and they both want to eat NOW". And even figure out how to burp both at the same time. Let's just say it's a complex combination of strategically placing babies and car seats. Need I say more. More time with the in-laws ensues and thus the challenge of me working on my patience with too many people hanging around my house, snacking, visiting and working the babies into a frenzy. Did I mention these people aren't big on coasters? And why do they look at me like I'm a nut case when I ask them to remove their hot cup of tea from my beautiful mahogany coffee table? Yes, I know the kids will ruin it eventually ... but please at least give THEM a chance! Still very limited on the breast milk but not giving up quite yet. Even breaking out the special breast milk tea that the lactation consultants suggested. Now if I only had time to have a cup of tea myself!

Stay tuned...

I'm Alive! Welcome Sushi Nuggets!

So whenever I've ever thought about what song I would be using in my player when posting my pictures of the sushi nuggets final arrival, I would have NEVER thought it would be a Xanadu song...but when I finally got out of the hospital on Tuesday and was standing in the sun on a warm spring day waiting for mr. Sushi nugget to load all the gear plus them in our car...it just seemed like a natural fit as to what was playing in my mind. If you happen to read blogs with your sound on, enjoy this flashback to the eighties? or was in seventies? Anyhow! ....



So without further delay...here they are!

I seriously can't believe they are here and I'm their mom. Seriously, what kind of craziness is that. The whole time checking into Labor and Delivery and prepping for the c-section I kept thinking to myself...this has got to be better than the D&C experience and it certainly was.

I'll put up a whole post on details later but I just wanted to thank you for all your well wishes. It was probably the most surreal experience I've ever had in the OR. I still keep thinking about it.

On the flip side both nuggets have already grown into their own separate nicknames. So may I present to you:

Sushi nugget girl otherwise known now as "Delicate Flower":

And the Garden Gnome, or the travelocity Gnome as Mr. Sushi nugget calls him:





I have so much to update but will have to do it when I have more time (yeah right!). Just got out of the hospital on Tuesday due to my recovery being a bit slow and because they have/had jaundice. Thankfully those levels have been going down since going home. And since Tuesday as you can imagine it's been just a blur.

Sushi Girl nugget was about 6.5 pounds and sushi boy nugget was almost 7 pounds! Both were 18.5 inches. Everyone including all the doctors were raving about how big they were for twins at 37 weeks. Now I know why I've been so uncomfortable! That's a heavy load there!

Overall the experience was just the most surreal wonderful experience I've ever had. It was so weird to go into the operating room with no babies and then minutes later hear the squeaking sounds of little baby cries. I mean I obviously know they were in there but seriously it just didn't seem real when they came out. I still look at them and feel like this is just a fun week of taking care of someone's kids. It's so strange to know that they are mine forever! I thought I'd never have this chance.


More to come soon!