Or at least it seems that's how many I've been through.
I was thinking yesterday that if I had to remember back to last year. The year I was 36, you couldn't pay me to come up with anything that happened except for Pregnancy, D&C, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Miscarriage. That's it. That's all I did? I don't remember a thing else about that year. And this year so far has been the same. Sigh.
Dear God,
Can I please have my life back?
I know, I know....I suppose this IS part of my life. One of those speed bumps or if you will pot holes in the road.
I guess a good start is that I planned my summer vacation finally. Although it was no where new and was carefully planned to not fly anywhere (I think it's safe to say that I would be a high risk pregnancy at this point - when I do become pregnant, or at least for the first trimester and should not fly). Anyhow, my point was that I made the arrangements, picked a week in September and booked it at our favorite mountain resort. It was only briefly that I thought about what I would do if that week falls within the time period where I should be going in for another round of injections, ultra sounds and blood tests. To which I decided. Screw it. I deserve to take the month off. And so...if I don't fall successfully pregnant before then, that is the plan.
Today...8DPO.
Ironically my test date that the doctor gave me? Next Wednesday. The day of our 3rd anniversary. I hope it's a good one.
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7 comments:
I hate the term two week wait. But I guess we all live our lives in two week increments. F the 2ww!
Right here with you though. xox
G
Good for you for taking the bull by the horns and planning a vacation. A mountain resort in September sounds divine. But I know what you mean about how the baby-miscarriage-IF thing can become your hobby. We loaned out our mountaineering gear a few weeks ago. Afterward, we looked at each other and tried to remember the last time we had used it: the spring right before we started TTC. 2 years ago. Sad, really.
Hang in there as the days wind down in the 2WW.
MEH. I so remember that life-on-hold, always in some kind of 2ww thing.
My life seemed permanently on hold for five years, so I totally feel your pain. I"m glad that you went ahead with the fall vacation plans and if you have to cancel, hopefully it will be for a GREAT reason!
I wish you all the best for next week's test!
One of the worst parts of TTC, for me, was the feeling that my life was endlessly on hold. Last year, I finally said screw it. Planned trips in November, December, and January. Figured if the timing was bad in any of those months, we'd just deal with it. (They all worked out, though we did an IUI in November the day before our flight; in December, we had a 2-day buffer.) We also figured, if we were pregnant, we'd enjoy the vacation that much more.
Most importantly, planning ahead more than two weeks, and having something to look forward to that wasn't all about babies, felt awesome.
I am so not looking forward to living life in two week increments again.
I sure hope you are pregnant this month. Although if you are not...you will have a fab vacation to look forward to!
crossing fingers for you!
I hope for that big anniversary surprise. Thinking about you at 10 DPO today. I left you a pink rose at my blog this morning.
2ww can be so frustrating..!
I am praying hard that this 2ww ends with a sticky one.
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