And so tomorrow is the first day of my "fertility week". I've felt a little strange today. I've had terrible thoughts on having another miscarriage again. I guess this is pretty normal but it comes and goes with me and today has been a bad thought day. Some days I feel really positive and just know that my next pregnancy will be happy and healthy and everything will turn out just fine. And then some days I'm just in this super dark place thinking that I will be one of those people that are teased with easy pregnancy only to lose each one after another, with all the doctors completely baffled by why this is happening to me.
I guess the real reason I go back and forth is because the luck of the draw seems to go back and forth. As we all know there is no rhyme or reason and even the doctors say so. There's always those couples that have been infertile with no end in sight and then simply one day they get pregnant naturally...then there are those others that seem like everything is normal and just can't. It's like there's no guarantees no matter what.
It's like playing the baby lottery. Well I certainly hope I play better at this than I do at the real lottery. Cuz I haven't one anything on that one yet either. Damn.
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